


Who's In the Wrong?

by 82_owls



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Minor Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi, Minor Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:27:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 39,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28476888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/82_owls/pseuds/82_owls
Summary: What caused the downfall of their relationship? Was only one of them responsible, or was it all three of them? Who was to blame?
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Choi San/Kang Yeosang
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To clear up any confusion, here are the living arrangements:
> 
> Hongjoong & San - Same Apartment
> 
> Seonghwa - House
> 
> Yunho, Mingi & Yeosang - Same Apartment
> 
> Wooyoung & Jongho - Same Apartment
> 
> Also, I would like to quickly thank anyone who stumbled upon this fic, hope you enjoy reading!

Today was finally the day. 

Today was the day Wooyoung was going to tell him. It actually felt long overdue, but he couldn't help pushing it back each time he dwelled on it.

Watching as his text is sent to San, he holds his breath waiting for his reply.

A mere 'sure' is all he's met with. 

All he needs to do now is compose himself, and be prepared for any unforeseen reactions.

…

(1 year ago, Yeosang’s birthday party)

San is drunk. His head is pounding and his vision is blurry.

The music booms in his ears, the countless bodies bump into him as he walks past.

Splaying his hands against the wall for guidance, he trails his way to the kitchen where he knows Yunho is with the drinks.

Someone roughly pushes past him. He's propelled forward, tripping on the carpet.

Someone grasps his arm.

A sense of dread begins to fill his stomach. San regains his balance and turns to face the perpetrator. 

Instead of the asshole he'd imagined in his head, he finds himself looking at Yeosang, who's clutching his arm so that he doesn't fall, surveying San's surroundings to find the asshole who had pushed him.

San's tensed body relaxes, watching Yeosang as he looks around and doesn't find who he's looking for.

His stomach, although not filled with a sense of dread, begins to churn.

San feels like he might hurl.

Bringing his hand to tap on Yeosang's shoulder, he uses his other hand to cover his mouth.

Yeosang looks back at him, widening his eyes at seeing San's slightly green face.

Grabbing his hand, Yeosang leads San to the nearest bathroom, maneuvering through the crowds of people.

Upon reaching for the doorknob, and finding it locked, Yeosang mentally curses himself, and opts to take San to his own private bathroom.

Reaching into his pocket and pulling out his key, Yeosang unlocks his door, forgetting to close it as he rushes San into the bathroom.

San feels as though he might puke any time now, relieved as he watches the toilet bowl come into view.

Yeosang rushes out, leaving San to spew out his contents, while he goes to fetch a glass of water for him.

Although feeling disgusting, San's stomach is relieved.

He flushes the toilet, and attempts to stand up.

Pouting since his legs feel wobbly, and as though they might give out any moment now, San picks himself up and leans against the sink.

He sees Yeosang come into the bathroom through the mirror's reflection.

"Can I borrow some mouthwash?" Asks San making eye contact with Yeosang, who nods and opens the cabinet for him.

Gurgling the mouthwash in his mouth, then spitting it out, San tries to walk out of the bathroom.

Again, his knees wobble, until he feels an arm around his waist and another on his hand.

Together, Yeosang and San make their way to his bed.

San sits on the mattress, Yeosang offering him a glass of water, which he eagerly gulps down.

After swallowing the last drop of water, Yeosang speaks up, "Are you okay now?"

San nods, "I am, thank you very much." He looks up to see Yeosang still has a worried expression.

"It's no problem, but are you sure you're okay?"

San places the empty glass on his bedside table, "Yes."

With that, San pushes himself up, deciding to leave the quiet room.

Yeosang interrupts his movements, "If you want, you can lay here for a while. You know, to sleep off your drunkenness for a bit." 

"Oh, thank you but I don't want to cause you any more trouble." San says as he fully stands up.

"Yeah, okay, only if you're sure." Yeosang says as he watches San try to move by himself.

"Yeah, I was going to head home anyways, thank you for stopping me from face planting." 

With a soft laugh, Yeosang responds, "No problem, but let me walk you out at the very least."

To cease his constant worrying, San nods, Yeosang wrapping his arm around his waist, while San has it around his shoulders.

They make their way into the hall, the party still loud as ever.

As the pair approach the front door, Wooyoung makes his way to them, a worried expression on his face.

Yeosang feels as San removes his arm from around him, standing by himself, straightening his clothes a bit.

"Hey, did something happen?" Asks Wooyoung, who previously saw San leaning on Yeosang.

"Oh he-"

"I'm going home," San cuts Yeosang off before he can finish.

"Oh really? Let me go with you, I was gonna head home anyways." Replies Wooyoung not noticing the way San looks at him with a glint in his eyes.

Yeosang watching the interaction slightly shrinks into himself, 'I can always try next time' he thinks as San pulls away from his side.

He watches the pair leave through the door, waving to them as he goes back into his own party.

…

San feels the nervousness crawl up his spine. 

He wrings his hands together, chewing on his bottom lip, avoiding eye contact with Wooyoung.

…

(1 year ago, a week before Yeosang’s birthday)

Looking over at Yeosang, Wooyoung finds him gazing at San who squeaks as he laughs out loud at what Mingi has said.

Curious, Wooyoung pokes Yeosang in the ribs, hard.

Startled Yeosang grabs his hand, sending a glare his way, Wooyoung meets him with a goofy smile.

Immediately Wooyoung changes his expression, seeing as he caught Yeosang's attention, and looks at San and then back at Yeosang, multiple times.

He finishes his eye movements with a lifted eyebrow and widened eyes.

Yeosang only stares at him with confusion, his brows furrowing.

Wooyoung rolls his eyes at having to point everything out.

He points at San, and then points back at Yeosang, making a heart with two fingers.

At finally understanding (Wooyoung sighs a breath of relief), Yeosang lets go of his hand.

He looks around them, and slightly nods, his cheeks blushing.

Wooyoung smugly smiles at having figured him out.

Yeosang slaps his arm lightly, bringing his finger to his lips, telling him to keep quiet.

Wooyoung nods, but his curiosity gets the better of him.

"Since when?" He whispers to Yeosang, who looks at him sternly in warning.

"I'll tell you later." 

Not liking that answer, Wooyoung grabs Yeosang's hand and pulls him to stand up.

Yeosang only follows his lead, confused at what Wooyoung's doing.

Wooyoung begins walking to Yeosang's room, smiling at Yunho who's perched at one of the dining table's chairs. 

Once inside his room, Wooyoung leans on the door to keep it closed, looking at Yeosang who sits on his bed.

"Spill."

Yeosang looks at him with a conflicted expression, weighing his chances to escape his room, deciding it'd be best if he doesn't challenge Wooyoung.

"Fine, I think I might have a crush on San."

Scoffing Wooyoung says, "I already know that, you can't hide for shit. I want to know for how long."

Rubbing his temples, Yeosang mentally prepares himself for Wooyoung's pestering ways.

"How long." Wooyoung says it demandingly, watching Yeosang who falls back onto his bed, closing his eyes, as though it'd prevent Wooyoung from getting an answer out of him.

Wooyoung pushes himself off the door, approaching the foot of Yeosang's bed, and leaning directly over his best friend's face.

"How long." 

Yeosang's eyes fling open at hearing the too close voice, meeting face-to-face with Wooyoung.

His hands immediately push him away, "What the fuck Wooyoung?"

Wooyoung laughs out his high-pitched laughter, "I'm telling you, how long have you been crushing on San for?"

Huffing out of exasperation, Yeosang whispers out, "Two."

"What?"

"Two."

'Two,' Wooyoung thinks to himself, wondering what in the hell Yeosang's referring to.

"As in weeks?"

Wooyoung sees Yeosang shake his head, even more confused at what he means.

"Two...years."

It's silent as Wooyoung processes the information.

Yeosang's ears turn red, tensing as he waits for Wooyoung's reaction.

"2 YEARS?!"

Yeosang nods.

"WHAT THE FUCK? TWO WHOLE FUCKIN YEARS AND YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING?"

Yeosang suddenly realizing the rise in volume, responds with, "Wooyoung these walls aren't fuckin soundproof, shut up!"

Wooyoung covers his mouth at that, whispering, "Okay, okay...but 2 years? Holy fuck Yeosang, how did you manage for so long? You poor soul."

Yeosang only shrugs his shoulders, watching as Wooyoung steps closer and reaches out to pet his hair.

Yeosang slaps his hand away, slightly laughing at Wooyoung's overdramatic show of pain.

"Whatever, I don't need you to tell me that it's been a while. I know that...it's just that…" Yeosang looks at the floor in deep thought.

"What? What is it?" Wooyoung looks at him questioningly, wanting as many answers as he can get 

"Well I don't know what to do." Yeosang finishes, looking at Wooyoung who smiles at having heard that.

"Yeosang, it's basic math. You just have to flirt a bit here and there, and BAM! You get together. Simple as that." Wooyoung finishes with a thumbs up.

Yeosang wants to roll his eyes, but finds he might as well go along with Wooyoung so he stops pestering him.

"Yeah, I'll try that then." He nods with a smile at Wooyoung, who returns it.

With a loud clap, Wooyoung walks backwards to the door.

"Well, looks like my job is done. Hit me up if you need any more relationship advice, I'll be happy to help you, as the resident relationship guru." Wooyoung points at himself with a smirk, confidently looking at Yeosang.

Yeosang scoffs, reaching for one of his pillows, throwing it at Wooyoung's face.

"Yeah right, you only wanted the gossip," Yeosang says incredulously, adding on a, "relationship guru my ass."

Wooyoung has the thrown pillow in his hands, throwing it back at Yeosang, opening the door to step out, and finalizing it with a, "I'm serious though, tell me everything between you and San. And I mean everything!"

Wooyoung sends a wink Yeosang's way, abruptly closing the door as Yeosang throws another pillow, missing its target and thumping against the floor.

Yeosang is left alone, a slight smile on his face because of Wooyoung and his antics.

He finds his smile turning into a frown as he thinks back to what he'd heard between Yunho and San the other day.

_"San you should go for it. I mean what do you have to lose?" Yunho questions, wanting San to act on his emotions._

_"I know Yunho...but what if he just straight up rejects me and laughs in my face?" San asks slightly worried._

_"Sannie, you know Wooyoung wouldn't do that. If he does end up rejecting you, he isn't heartless enough to laugh in your face." Yunho says warmly._

_"You're right...but…"_

_"No but's! Just go for it, if he doesn't date you, well at least you got your confirmation and you can move on. If he does date you, then it's a win for you. Either way, if you don't do something about it, you'll never know and only keep thinking up possibilities."_

_"You're right, thank you Yunho."_

_Clothes rustle, and after a moment, the door opens._

_"Thank you again Yunho! I'll get going now!"_

_"Alright Sannie, I'll see you tomorrow!"_

_The door shuts, and Yeosang is left saddened in his room._

_Of course San likes Wooyoung._

Shaking his head to rid himself of the memory, Yeosang replays his current predicament.

With his crush liking his best friend, it was best if he gave up, lest he wants to ruin his friendship with Wooyoung.

After all they've known each other for 5 years now, and counting, it'd be futile to let his pathetic feelings ruin their close relationship.

Exasperated, Yeosang challenges himself in his head.

'If I can't further my relationship with San, or even date him after a year, then I'll give up. Easy as that.'

Yeosang smiles to himself, he wanted to at least try once more before he fully gave up. 'What better way to do it than by giving himself a year?'

After all, Wooyoung doesn't seem to like or even notice San's feelings. 

During the year he'd given himself, maybe San can grow to like him instead, since Wooyoung did sleep around, and didn't at all seem to want to be in a relationship.

Satisfied by his result, Yeosang stays in his room, scrolling on his phone until the moon peeks from his window.

That night, Yeosang dreams of a big green hill.

On top of it, he sees a lone figure standing and surveying the surroundings.

The figure appears to be looking at someone, the direction unclear with the fuzziness of his sight.

However, despite it, Yeosang calls the figure with familiarity.

"San!" he shouts, the figure appearing to move, but his mind goes blank right before he can catch his movements.

…

After reading the text Wooyoung had sent him earlier, San felt a pit in his stomach, wondering if both had the same thought in mind for meeting up.

Luckily, Wooyoung had beaten him to the punch, feeling temporary relief at knowing he wasn't the only one feeling this way.

He thinks about his own reasons for wanting to meet Wooyoung.

‘Obviously it was the distance, the way he avoided me, the way he lied to me.’

And as much as San wanted to blame him, he knew he was at fault as well, if not more so, for letting it get this far.

His nervousness made him wish he was a mind reader. 

It was nerve wracking waiting for Wooyoung to speak, San wouldn't be so doubtful if it wasn't for the silence. 

A huff of breath reigns San away from his thoughts, focusing back on Wooyoung.

Looking into his eyes and seeing the determination in them, San waits as Wooyoung opens his mouth.

It's then that he begins to speak.

…

(8 months ago, New Years)

Yeosang wants to start the new year off on a positive note.

After leaving the mini New Years party Seonghwa hosted, Yeosang felt it necessary to keep his goal in mind when creating his list of resolutions.

This was the year he'd tell San about his feelings.

Knowing he's getting way too ahead of himself, Yeosang shakes that thought away, choosing to start off with a small goal.

'What I have to do FIRST, is interact with him more, hangout with him without the group around.'

Yeosang thinks of his next step.

'Then I'd have to…flirt.'

He blushes, imagining himself flirting with San.

He stares at the empty wall, wondering how in the hell he was supposed to be brave enough to flirt.

'Maybe I can skip it?' He thinks, trying to think of another way for him to show San he's interested in him.

His jumbled thoughts leave him with even more questions than answers.

'If I don't flirt with him, how long will it take before he notices me in that way?'

'That's assuming I can even hangout with him...what if there's no progress?'

'But what if there is? Would he be disgusted if his friend tried getting with him?'

'Or worse, what if he stops being my friend?'

Scared by his own thoughts, Yeosang shuts his eyes tight, hoping they'd go away.

'No, I can't have that.'

Yeosang opens his eyes, and bites his nails out of worry.

'I need to start slow, and wait for him to show if he's interested. If so, then the feelings are mutual, and he won't be disgusted if I take the next step.'

Mentally patting himself on the back, Yeosang reaches for his phone, and types out a text to send to Wooyoung about his plan.

'Would Wooyoung help me?'

Yeosang wonders, thinking back to what Wooyoung had said, about giving him all the details on his progress with San.

Making up his mind, Yeosang hits 'send', waiting to see Wooyoung's reaction.

At the sound of a notification, he reads Wooyoung's text.

'About damn time!'

Yeosang smiles, sighing and typing out another text to meet up later.

'If Wooyoung knows of my plan, maybe he won't notice San's feelings for him, or maybe reject him if he knows I like him?'

Yeosang feels relieved, like he's killed two birds with one stone.

Not only is he telling Wooyoung how he attempts to get closer to San, but maybe it'll even steer Wooyoung clear of San's feelings.

He feels hopeful that his plan now has somewhat of a success rate. Happy to have a friend like Wooyoung to support him.

Yeosang finds himself thinking of when the two had met.

Not only had they both been applying to the same job, but they both realized the wait for it was rather long.

Arriving together and leaving together, Yeosang saw Wooyoung as something more than a peer, he'd found himself a friend.

When they'd both walked away, the only thing Wooyoung had said to him was, 'They're missing out,' Yeosang keeping in mind that Wooyoung was the closest out of everyone to get the spot offered in the job.

It came naturally when Yeosang saw Wooyoung as his best friend, he'd basically sacrificed his job for him, despite how easily he could've gotten in.

It also came naturally, when Yeosang realized he could never let go of a great friend like Wooyoung.

He's glad that after all these years, he hadn't let him go, only furthering the trust between them.

Yeosang had no problem telling Wooyoung his futile feelings that seemed to get him nowhere.

He trusted him fully, he trusted him with his life.

Humming a soft tune to himself, Yeosang concludes his thoughts about his best friend. 

'He's the only one I trust. He isn't just simply my best friend, he's my soulmate…

He could never hurt me.'

…

San's dimpled smile lit up his dull eyes. 

He was content with Wooyoung's words, and yet guilty for them. 

He'd expected those same words to spill from his lips, but even so, San felt saddened by them.

He chose to focus on the positive.

He let his feelings of relief and joy grow from the depths of his mind.

He's glad Wooyoung had finally said it.

Happy that the words were of his own volition.

It only seemed like a matter of time before one of them did.

Although only a few days had passed since then, it felt like forever to San.

As much as he reminds himself of his own guilt eating away at him, San ignores it in favor of remembering the hiding and secrecy throughout the past year.

San feels glad, he's away from it.

He can start anew.

The elation of realizing this has him almost jumping in place.

He's finally free!

…

(1 year ago, Yeosang’s birthday)

Wooyoung doesn't know how he ended up here. 

One second he's happily chatting with San, and the next he's pushing San against the wall as he attacks his lips.

Wooyoung can't say for sure what spurred these actions, but maybe the fact San invited him inside, and the way both had shamelessly flirted, got him to this point. 

That is, San's bedroom.

He continues his previous actions of undressing San and himself.

Letting San's body intoxicate him.

There's a voice in his head that tells him he shouldn't be doing this. It tells him with a distant voice that he's sleeping with Yeosang's crush.

He ignores it.

Instead, Wooyoung drowns himself in San's pants and moans.

The constant slapping of skin on skin echoes around the room, it spills outside the bedroom door.

The night slips away, both San and Wooyoung continue to get lost in each other.

Wooyoung temporarily forgets about the consequences.

The only thing both care about is reaching their high point.

Their intimacy being their priority.

…

San watches Wooyoung through his glossy eyes.

He sees how silent he’s become after saying those words, after San had his revelation.

Running his eyes over Wooyoung's frame, San notes his eyes are tightly shut, his head is tilted towards the ground, his fists are clenched at his sides.

He feels a sudden urge to express his gratitude at being let go, causing him to step forward until he’s engulfing Wooyoung in a hug.

San whispers his thankfulness and countless apologies.

"Thank you." He says.

"Sorry." He continues.

His endless cycle of feelings has San's mind reeling.

He still can't believe Wooyoung said it.

It took a year of unanswered questions and mixed feelings, all waiting for the response that came in the form of Wooyoung's words. 

The words that should've left him guilty, but cause him to relish in the relief instead.

San doesn't have to fake it with him anymore. He's free to show him his true feelings now.

The regret hits him in waves the longer he holds Wooyoung. His presence alone makes San hate the way everything ended. The fact that it was his fault for not being a better person.

As much as he wants to surf the waves of the hurt, the loss, and the pain that came with Wooyoung, he knows that it isn't at all what his mind is thinking.

In fact, San realizes just how badly he's reacting to the situation.

He's noticing the terrible person he is, as he chooses to focus on the way he doesn't have to hide his longing, his want for truth, his chance at love.

Pulling away from him, San pecks Wooyoung's cheek.

Thanking him for opening the little door of his cage.

For letting his wings fly him to freedom. 

He watches Wooyoung's face turn into that of a smile, letting him grasp his hands as they share the final moment.

Staring into his eyes, San can see a hint of tears.

He matches Wooyoung's smile with one of his own, both downturned and sad.

Even though he wants to hide the hope in his eyes, he knows Wooyoung sees them brightly lit, while his own shine with pain.

With the complexity that is San's feelings, emotions, and thoughts, he's glad to have a clear solution for them, all courteously of Wooyoung's abrupt text.

…

(1 year ago, day after Yeosang’s birthday party)

San wakes up in bed with a headache and a warm body next to him.

Said body is sleeping, and looking up at the serene face, San realizes it's Wooyoung.

With slight surprise, San trails his way down Wooyoung's body, taking note of the various marks and scratches on his skin that are on full display, not covered by the blanket.

Wondering if he looks as mauled as Wooyoung does, San takes a chance to peek at his own skin, quickly looking away after catching sight of littered bruises.

Before he panics at finally remembering the night before, San clamps his hand over his mouth.

He wants to cry at it all happening so fast, but simultaneously wants to shout in happiness that it all happened so fast.

Just as he calms his emotions and settles on his current reality, he feels Wooyoung shift next to him.

Yawning, and stretching out his arms, Wooyoung rubs his eyes as he checks his surroundings.

He feels someone looking at him as he sits up, and finds San sitting next to him, hand covering his mouth, eyes wide open.

Wooyoung smirks at him, finding San's surprised expression adorable.

"Hey sleepyhead, rest well last night?" Wooyoung asks with a wink.

San's hands fall from his face to his sides, his mouth left openly gaping at Wooyoung, not understanding how he could be so collected despite them sleeping together.

"Are you still braindead?" Wooyoung teases, reaching over to close San's mouth.

It's then that San speaks up.

"I LIKE YOU!" San blurts out, clearly his brain not catching up with what he just said.

A moment of silence befalls the two, San realizes what he's just shouted and again, clamps his hand over his mouth, cursing inwardly to himself at blurting it out with no warning whatsoever.

Wooyoung on the other hand, matches San's earlier expression, mouth slightly open, and eyes wide in surprise at the abruptness.

San knows he's majorly fucked up now, there's no reason to retract his feelings since they were, very much, true.

Just as he's on the verge of hyperventilating, Wooyoung speaks up.

"San...did you just...say you liked me?" Wooyoung asks carefully, his tone sounding like he was talking to a scared animal, which wasn't very far from the truth.

San can only nod, too shocked at his actions, humiliated at having blurted out his feelings.

"Oh...well if it makes you feel any better, I like you too." Wooyoung says in a friendly tone, watching as San vehemently shakes his head.

"No? No what?" Asks Wooyoung, clearly confused with San's actions.

"I like you...as more than a friend." San finally says, blushing deeply at confessing to Wooyoung, especially since all his attention was on him.

Again, silence engulfs the two.

Not bearing it, San comes out with the full truth, wanting to get over the situation, not caring if he was rejected or accepted, just needing an answer to end the unbearable silence.

"I like you, and I want to date you." San whispers, head hanging low as he waits for the rejection followed by Wooyoung's disgusted face.

Instead, he feels a hand on his, making him open his eyes and see Wooyoung with the biggest smile on his face.

"Okay, sure we can do that, let's date."

San gapes at how easily he accepted.

He almost thinks he's playing a cruel joke on him, waiting for the 'but' to end his statement.

It never comes.

Wooyoung just brings San to his chest, and reassures him that he wants to date him.

San silently cries with tears of happiness, realizing all his doubts amounted to nothing when Wooyoung accepted him like that.

San stays in Wooyoung's arms, until he passes his moment of embarrassment and is back to the same teasing person he always is.

Wooyoung notices the change in his features, warm eyes and bright smiles all directed at him, as he's led out of the bedroom by San (after putting on their clothes) to eat breakfast.

(Perhaps he'd been too caught up in the moment, that Wooyoung didn't fully process what it meant to date San. From looking at the way San was distressed, maybe he wanted to dissolve his fears, instead of actually accepting because he felt the same way back. It's not until later that he thinks about Yeosang.)

...

They let the winds of autumn sweep the leaves.

Their hair and clothes being blown to the side by the wind.

San and Wooyoung don’t say anything to each other.

They only hold hands and continue to watch each other’s eyes, catching sight of the different emotions expressed in them.

As much as Wooyoung wants to look away, he can’t.

Too enraptured by San’s sparkling eyes.

It comes to no one’s surprise that both begin to think about their relationship, from start to finish.

It’s Wooyoung who recalls what he’d done after they’d gotten together.

…

(1 year ago, day after Yeosang’s birthday party)

The morning craze in the city amounted to countless people rushing towards their work places, multiple cars crowding the streets, and surprisingly, a lone figure who walked with a pump in his step, whistling out in glee.

It's Wooyoung who seems to be so happy, after having left San's apartment.

He thinks about San's slightly blushing face, and the shyness he showed him, slightly laughing to himself at the cuteness of it all.

He feels like he's on cloud nine, happy he's now dating San, never realizing how bubbly he would feel being in a relationship.

His smile lasts until he thinks about telling Yeosang of such a step in his private life.

His face immediately twists into one of slight panic, realizing what he's just done to Yeosang.

'Oh fuck, I just slept with his crush!'

His head reasons it was bound to happen, it wouldn't surprise anyone if they had.

'But this is Yeosang's crush.'

Yet again, being reminded of the fact in big bold letters, he slept with his best friend's crush.

Worrying about what he'd have to do, Wooyoung's brain supplies him with a different thought.

'But what if he supports me?'

Immediately, Wooyoung rids himself of that question, considering a different outcome.

'No, he wouldn't support me, he'd for sure avoid me and stop being my best friend.'

Wooyoung thinks up the possibility of telling Yeosang about his new relationship with San. The only thing he can conjure up, are eyes of pain from having his trust broken by Wooyoung.

'No, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if Yeosang felt like that whenever he looked at me.'

It's like a lightbulb lights up in his brain.

'But Yeosang would never be heartbroken, if he didn't know in the first place…right?'

Wooyoung rushes to pull his phone out, opening up San's contact to send him a text.

'All I have to do is keep my relationship with San a secret. Then Yeosang will never know, and he won't see me as the best friend who betrayed him.'

Wooyoung smiles slightly at that, continuing to walk, after realizing he'd stopped walking while thinking about Yeosang.

He ignores the questioning looks from people sitting outside of the restaurants, and sends his typed message to San, putting his phone back in his pocket upon wondering why he decided to date San. 

'What were my motives?' Wooyoung asks himself, knowing he doesn't commit to relationships, perfectly fine with taking a faceless nobody home.

'Is San a faceless nobody?'

Wooyoung cuts that train of thought, replying to himself.

'Of course not! He's one of my close friends.'

Finding himself more confused than before, Wooyoung seats himself at a bench in the park.

He reflects on why he accepted San's proposal to date him, even though he'd never noticed him in that way.

'Was it for his body?'

Wooyoung gets angry at himself, "Of course not!'

He feels his phone vibrate from a notification, figuring it might be San responding to him.

'Then why did I date him?'

Wooyoung can't blame the alcohol, he was sober when he accepted.

'Was it…?' Wooyoung wants to stop thinking about that. He so badly wants to prevent himself from venturing there, but he can't help it.

'Maybe Yeosang's constant talking about him made me see him in a different light?'

Wooyoung feels bad thinking about that, knowing he's blaming Yeosang for something he didn't purposely do.

It made sense though, Wooyoung didn't have to go up to them when he saw San being supported by Yeosang yesterday.

But, he did.

He even offered to walk home together, and eventually they'd ended up inside San's apartment.

Wooyoung doesn't know whether to feel guilt at liking Yeosang's crush as well, or happy that he's not dating San for his body.

He takes a chance to look at San's reply, seeing the virtual yellow 'thumbs-up'.

Wooyoung wants to feel relief, he wants to be glad that San agrees with keeping their relationship a secret.

It's for the best after all.

But a selfish part of him wants to date him openly, despite the consequences.

He thinks back to Yeosang, and immediately he's swayed back to keeping it a secret.

'It's better to lie to Yeosang.'

It scares Wooyoung not knowing the reaction Yeosang would give him, if he did tell him. 

He figured a little lie wouldn't hurt their friendship.

After all, having Yeosang know of his betrayal was worse than lying to him.

…

Reeling himself away from his memory and focusing back on San, he guesses San also thinks back to that day.

The day the secrecy began.

And thinking back on it, perhaps the day everything had started to fall apart.

San knew it was over since that day.

…

(1 year ago, day after Yeosang’s birthday)

San didn't expect the message from Wooyoung a few minutes after he'd left his apartment.

It read, 'Let's keep our relationship a secret.'

Waiting for an explanation to the sudden request, San figures after a few moments, that he wasn't getting one.

He sends a thumbs up, feeling confused and slightly hurt.

'Why keep their relationship a secret?'

It's after a moment of silence that San guesses Wooyoung's actions.

'Maybe Wooyoung isn't ready?'

He did after all, mention not being in relationships.

'Maybe he's just nervous?' San thinks, figuring Wooyoung just wanted time to become comfortable with the fact that he's dating someone now.

He laughs to himself, clutching a nearby pillow to his chest.

'Of course Wooyoung would be hesitant!'

Falling back onto his bed, San smiles to himself.

He's fine with Wooyoung setting the pace.

As long as he was fine with dating San.

(Maybe San should've questioned him further, but he didn't. Too busy letting the butterflies in his stomach affect him.)

…

And yet, San didn't mind that it caused their downfall.

He realizes that even if he had been patient, it wouldn't have changed anything.

Instead, he chooses to cherish the times they'd been happy.

His mind reeling him back to Wooyoung's pleasant surprise.

…

(1 year ago, Fall)

They're at Wooyoung's apartment.

After having declined San's offer to go to the carnival, San and Wooyoung sit at his dining table.

It's not that Wooyoung didn't want to go, 'cause damn does he like spending time with his boyfriend, but he wanted to show him something he'd been working on.

San sits opposite of him, raising a spoon to his lips. 

As he gulps it down, Wooyoung carefully observes his features, wanting to see if there's any change. 

He realizes he's holding his breath as he waits for San's judgement.

"This is...this…" says San as he looks at the bowl in front of him, seemingly in deep thought.

"Yes? It's?" Worries Wooyoung, leaning in his seat, waiting for San's reaction.

"This is really good babe! Are you sure you didn't order it or something?" Asks San playfully, as he scoops another mouthful of Wooyoung's dish.

Playing along, Wooyoung hums slightly, faking to be deep in thought.

With a scoff, San pushes away his bowl, "I knew it! There's no way you can cook this well!"

With a scandalized expression, Wooyoung gestures to himself, "For your information, I very much did make it. Can't help but be boyfriend material." Says Wooyoung smuggly.

Rolling his eyes, San smiles and continues eating.

At times like these, San thinks about his choice in dating Wooyoung.

He's very happy, in fact, these moments were the ones that reminded him why he began to like him in the first place.

But sometimes, San felt it wasn't enough.

He was already an affectionate person to begin with, but he had to tone it down to accommodate Wooyoung's decision.

At home, San could walk up to Wooyoung and kiss him as much as he wanted to, flirt with him or be really touchy with him.

But in public, he couldn't act on those urges.

Sometimes Wooyoung would dress really nicely, and San had to gulp down the urge to bring Wooyoung into a kiss.

He was always left admiring his looks, or if daring, he would kiss him on the cheek, but never more.

It felt restricting, but San couldn't be more glad.

Despite having to stop himself, he was glad to show Wooyoung he didn't only want him physically.

He felt it showed Wooyoung how he appreciated him for himself, not for his body.

Giddy at the thought, San thinks he could end up loving Wooyoung.

'Maybe not now, it'd be too soon. But maybe along the way…?' San thinks, as he finishes his bowl.

Just as he begins to stand up, Wooyoung interrupts him, "Don't worry about it Sannie, I got it."

Wooyoung stands up and takes his own bowl, reaching out for San's and walking to the kitchen.

San looks after him, shouting a quick "thanks!", and smiling to himself.

'Yeah, I can grow to love him.'

...

At the fond memory, San's thoughts are quickly clouded by the confusion.

The questions he had when Wooyoung didn't seem to grow closer to him, instead distancing himself even more.

How he felt at a loss when wondering what would happen if it continued that way.

…

(5 months ago)

San notices the obvious reluctance in Wooyoung's actions, before he gives the 'okay' to let San advance on him.

It all started when they'd been hanging out with their friends for Valentine's day, both saying they were single to avoid suspicion. 

(Seonghwa lamely labeled their get together as a time for 'Single pringles to hang out.')

Perhaps San shouldn't have done so, given the circumstances, but he did it anyway, leaning over to kiss Wooyoung's cheek.

Even though it was a sight their friends were more than used to (both were rather affectionate people), Wooyoung pushed him away. 

San easily complied, but it didn't stop him from feeling slightly hurt.

Especially since Yunho and Mingi had held hands with each other, after crashing their party of 'single pringles.' 

He could only watch as his heart stung, looking at the loving couple and their display of affection. 

The rest of the time spent during the friendly date, San felt he was constantly fighting for Wooyoung's attention.

It saddened him to see Wooyoung ignoring him when he spoke, or when he seemed to only address the others when he had something to say.

It almost made San's blood boil, but he brushed it off thinking Wooyoung had missed interacting with the rest of them, since he and San had been spending a lot of time together recently.

It was only after they'd left together, walking hand in hand, that San forgot his feelings of anger and hurt, brushing them off as him overreacting.

It lasted until Yunho's birthday party.

Wooyoung and San arrived at the doorstep, hand in hand, but as soon as they stepped foot inside, Wooyoung had let go of it.

San wanted to protest, but felt like he'd sound like a clingy bitch, so he sucked it up, and walked right in, not caring if Wooyoung followed.

Apparently that action was a mistake, since Wooyoung had gone ahead and left him alone, leaving San to give Yunho his present by himself.

The rest of the party was a blur.

The only thing San remembers is pitching into the bickering between Yunho and Mingi, about how Yunho was an 'old man now'. 

There wasn't anything else he could recall, only feeling bored out of his mind as he stayed in one place, and occasionally a little annoyed at the couple, who were a direct opposite to him and Wooyoung.

They openly showed their affection, while San and Wooyoung weren't even close to each other.

It felt unfair, but San didn't blame them for his own relationship with his boyfriend, and the fact that it lacked affection.

Once again, he forgot those ill-feelings in favor of clutching onto Wooyoung's hand when they left the party.

Hours later after the moon had lit up the sky, both San and Wooyoung were splayed on top of the bedsheets.

Sweat glistening due to the moonlight, both catching their breaths, heavily panting at having finished. 

San liked these moments. It reassured him that Wooyoung still liked him. It was his confirmation that he still wanted him close, physically and emotionally.

However, lately it'd leave him with doubts. Apart from having sex, they didn't interact physically anyway else.

It got his mind reeling, perhaps Wooyoung only wanted him for his body?

It certainly explained the stop to kissing and touching in public.

Maybe he was overthinking, but San couldn't help but figure Wooyoung had started to become disinterested.

They'd only interact behind closed doors, and they still haven't mentioned being together, to their friends.

His logic only confirmed these suspicions.

Wooyoung might be regretting being with him. He can't bear being around San, he's only leading up to putting a stop to their relationship.

Despite finding an answer, San doesn't feel any better. Saddened that Wooyoung might be thinking to do that.

It was now or never.

'I have to tone down my actions even more. If Wooyoung knows I respect his wishes, maybe he'll reconsider staying with me.'

Although disheartened, San never voiced his suspicions or his emotions. He feared perhaps Wooyoung would think he wanted to leave their relationship, if he showed signs of unhappiness.

This distance that Wooyoung created and San followed, wasn't only noticed by the two, _he_ did as well.

…

And it had, San remembers, the distance lasted for the rest of their relationship, until it's very end.

Which was why he was swayed so easily by _him_.

After longing for that affection, _he_ 'd been there. 

He easily got closer to _him_ , which was why he was so confused about his feelings for _him_.

On that day, when it was _his_ birthday.

…

(2 months ago, Yeosang’s birthday)

San stood in front of the door, gift in hand, as he knocked on the hardwood.

Today was Yeosang's birthday, and after much thinking, he decided to give Yeosang his gift before the party started. 

The door creaks open, and Mingi's surprised face comes into view, "Why are you here?" 

San rolls his eyes at the rude question, instead sidestepping him to go inside.

"I came to drop off my gift." Replies San, looking around the living room to see if Yeosang was there.

Just as Mingi was about to ask another question, Yeosang steps out of the hall, and peeks his head out, smiling at seeing San.

"Oh? What brings you here?" Yeosang asks with a slight smile on his face.

"Well, since I know both of you are shit at decorating, I thought maybe Yunho would like some help from a professional." 

Both Mingi and Yeosang groan out, remembering the disaster at Yunho's birthday party.

"That only happened once!" Exclaims Mingi, trying to save himself from the poor job both had done.

"Yeah, and it's a mistake I'll hold forever, over both of your heads." San laughs, enjoying their banter.

"Anyways, I better get going to pick up Yunho, who knows what kinds of unnecessary decorations he bought." Mingi says it lovingly, despite the slight annoyance in his tone.

Rushing out the door, keys in hand, San and Yeosang are left alone as soon as the door shuts.

"Would you like some water San?" Yeosang asks, breaking the silence.

"I'm good, thank you. Actually can we go to your room?" San questions, wanting to be in a more private room, despite the fact that they were the only ones there.

"Sure." Nods Yeosang, smile on his face as he turns around and motions for San to follow him.

(San notices the way his smile makes his cheekbones lift, a boyish look on his face. San doesn't mention how cute he thinks it makes him look.)

Opening the door to his room, Yeosang shuts it after San enters, who takes in the familiar surroundings.

San feels as though he should be embarrassed by how well he recognizes the room, but ignores it in favor of looking at the same posters he's seen a dozen times.

Pulling up a chair to sit in, Yeosang waits for San to sit down on his bed, a normal occurrence between them over the past weeks.

"So," begins Yeosang, bringing San out of his reverie, "am I getting my gift yet?" 

San slightly glares, walking up to him and handing over the gift.

"Why must you be so ungrateful all the time?" 

Smirking Yeosang ignores him in favor of opening his gift. 

San sits down and, for some reason, watches Yeosang's fingers weave through the wrapping.

(He gulps unnecessarily.)

The gift bag rustles as Yeosang pulls out his present.

He's momentarily confused as he looks at the tickets in his hand, San only looks at him as if to urge him to read them.

By doing so, Yeosang's face is one of realization.

They were coupons for his favorite chicken place a few blocks away.

Yeosang quickly thanks San (deeply moved by the fact that he knew his favorite food), and asks him a question.

"Now that that's out of the way, what are you really here for San?" Asks Yeosang, stunning San in the process of suddenly switching topics.

"Wh-What do you mean?" San mentally facepalms, cursing himself for sounding nervous.

"Well clearly you didn't wake up this early just to hand me my present." Yeosang explains, smile on his face as he realizes he guessed right by the way San looks away with slight embarrassment. 

Yeosang takes the time to place the tickets back in the bag and on the floor, to give San his full attention.

"W-Well, I guess I did kind of want to talk about something…" he trails off, nervousness crawling up his spine.

Yeosang only hums, waiting for him to continue.

"Let's just say there's this person...", San says carefully, "called...", further thinking leaves him with, "Shiber…?" San asks in a questioning tone, knowing it sounds weird by the way he's said it.

Yeosang slightly laughs, "You mean, you're stuffed pillow? The one we won at the carnival?" 

"Yes! That one!" San laughs along, any signs of feeling tense, eased by Yeosang's laughter.

"Anyway...let's say I'm dating Shiber…"

(Yeosang holds in his laughter when conjuring up an image of San dating his pillow, seeing as how serious he was.)

"And when we began dating, I only liked him…But...as time passed by...I'm starting to feel more than that for him..."

"Uh-huh."

"What do I do to tell him...er...Shiber, that I think I like him more than before…?"

"Like showing him that you might love him?" Yeosang asks, watching San turn bright red.

"Y-Yeah, I guess maybe a way to show this progression…?"

Yeosang looks at his wall in thought.

"As in physically? I mean you could easily tell this person verbally, but I guess you're not ready for that?" 

Yeosang sees San shake his head furiously.

"So then maybe in your own way? You're super affectionate, so why don't you just do that? You're showing the person you love them, and if they catch on, maybe they can say it first? If not, you're the one who can say it when you're ready, while conveying it in other ways." Yeosang finishes with a smile, watching San who's gone wide eyed.

This was exactly why San came to Yeosang. He was always thoughtful and gave good advice.

(A deeper part of his brain feels slightly disappointed. It was as though San expected Yeosang to react differently to telling him that he was in a relationship.

He didn't dwell on it.)

San nods, and asks a slightly different question.

"What if, rhetorically, I can't show him...Shiber, that I more than like him, because we were already affectionate. As in, instead of progressing, we've been digressing?"

"Well what caused the digression?" Yeosang immediately asks, then as an afterthought adds, "in this rhetorical relationship."

"That's the thing...I'm not sure." Without realizing it, San slips up.

Yeosang studies his shoes, thinking of answers to San's 'rhetorical' relationship.

"Maybe something happened? What if the other person realized something?" Yeosang replies.

"Y-Yeah maybe…" San thinks to himself, 'What if Wooyoung realized he doesn't want a relationship with me anymore?'

He feels tears spring to his eyes.

The chair creaks, and San is being engulfed by Yeosang.

(Unknowingly, it would be the first step to their comfortability.)

San pulls Yeosang to sit next to him, head resting on his shoulder, Yeosang's arm behind him.

San likes this. He likes them being in close proximity, especially since he didn't interact with anyone else except Wooyoung (who only touched him during sex). 

Feeling grateful for having someone to hold onto, San speaks up.

"Thank you Sangie, what would I do without you?"

Yeosang chuckles at that, agreeing.

San wipes the stray tears on his face, careful to avoid smearing the bright pink lipstick on his lips.

Yeosang begins to pull away, trying to make up for the depressing atmosphere, and reaches over to pick up his gift bag from the floor.

"How about we clear up the mood by celebrating my birthday with chicken?" 

As if on cue, Yeosang's stomach grumbles, and San bursts out laughing.

Wiping away his tears of laughter (instead of sorrow), San nods, "Yeah, how about that."

They stand up, and San reaches for Yeosang's hand, liking the fact he easily accepted.

Opening his door and stepping into the hall, they hear Yunho and Mingi's voices from the living room.

"Hey guys, San and I are gonna go eat, have fun with the decorations."

Yunho looks like he's about to protest (after all San had said he would help, which was better than both Mingi and Yeosang's efforts) but looking at San's slightly reddened eyes, he holds off.

"Yeah, yeah, go ahead, have your stupid chicken!" Yunho says teasingly, after living with Yeosang for so long, it was obvious that was where they'd go.

"Chicken? Yeosang bring me back some chicken!" Mingi calls from his place on the stool where he was hanging up decorations.

Nodding, Yeosang heads out, San right behind him by their interlocked hands.

Upon the door shutting, Yunho resumes taking out the decorations from the various bags on the living room floor.

Mingi steps down from his stool, and looks out the window, watching Yeosang and San walk hand in hand.

Giggling quietly to himself, Mingi tenses as he hears Yunho shout.

"I swear to God Mingi, if you don't help me right this moment, I'll make you sleep on the couch!"

At the threat, Mingi quickly gathers himself and continues his work with the decorations on the walls.

"Hey, you don't think San likes Yeosang do you?"

Humming in thought, Yunho replies, "Maybe? But I always thought San had a thing for Wooyoung?"

Nodding his head at the comment, Mingi proceeds with decorating.

He doesn't forget the glint in Yeosang's eyes when he told him to bring him back chicken.

He could only describe the expression on his face as lovestruck, when he looked at San.

…

Wooyoung watches San whose eyes shine as though to reminisce the events in their past.

He doesn’t blame him.

In fact, he finds himself reminiscing in his own promise to himself.

The promise he foolishly followed.

The decision he made that caused the distance between him and San.

…

(8 months ago, New Years)

Wooyoung begins to panic as soon as he replies to Yeosang's message. 

'Did he figure it out?'

'Were we that obvious?'

Calming his breathing, Wooyoung looks at his reply again.

'About damn time!'

He cringes at how supportive he sounds to Yeosang, considering the fact he just gave a 'go ahead' for Yeosang to pursue his boyfriend.

'How else was I supposed to respond?'

'Should I be discouraging Yeosang's attempts?'

He was going after Wooyoung's boyfriend, after all.

'But do I even deserve to call San my boyfriend?'

Chewing on his bottom lip, Wooyoung reads Yeosang's newly sent message to meet up later.

Yeosang finally acting on his emotions was only a matter of time, really.

Wooyoung just had to deal with sitting through Yeosang's attempts to get his boyfriend to notice him.

'Was that even right?'

Wooyoung didn't need to be reminded of the fact that he's dating Yeosang's crush of 2 years. 'But just because he's liked him for so long, was it right to just let him act on those feelings?'

His head tells him yes, he should.

Yeosang crushed on San first, and Wooyoung only noticed San in that way by how often Yeosang spoke about him. 

But his heart…

His heart was telling him no. 

He's _so_ close to officially revealing his relationship with San to the rest of the group.

Wooyoung doesn't know what to do.

_Does he continue being the supportive best friend, or does he continue being the good boyfriend?_

Caught up in his thoughts, Wooyoung fails to hear his bedroom door open and close.

It's not until San is on his lap that he realizes he isn't alone.

Wooyoung looks up and is met with San's mischievous face.

Grabbing his head with both hands to keep it in place, Wooyoung is suddenly being smothered in kisses. The scrunched up expression he makes has San laughing giddily.

Wooyoung puts a stop to San's actions, holding his shoulders in place as he looks at him, face-to-face.

San tilts his head, waiting for Wooyoung to do something, a little worried.

Wooyoung suddenly pulls San in by the back of his neck.

_Perhaps it was the warm body on top of him, thighs on either side of his hips, the pink pouty lips, dimples on his face._

Wooyoung kisses San fervently, who shivers at the show of control.

_Or maybe it was the little voice in his head that said this would be the last time._

San wraps his arms around his shoulders, leaning forward to push Wooyoung's back onto the bed.

It's during San's kisses that trail down his jawline, San's hands that trail to his pants, that Wooyoung makes up his mind.

_He cares about both San and Yeosang._

San sits up to rip off his clothes, unbuckling Wooyoung's pants to get them off.

_He cares about San's happiness._

San grinds onto Wooyoung, moaning brokenly, loving the friction between the both of them.

_He cares about Yeosang's happiness._

Wooyoung hears San reach his climax before he feels it.

_If their happiness meant he'd be out of the picture, Wooyoung would gladly sacrifice himself for them._

Wooyoung pants as he finishes coming down from his high.

_That's why it was up to him to make it right._

San wipes at his eyes. Wooyoung realizes he's been crying, his tears spilling onto his cheeks. 

_Yeosang would never have to know, and while San would be in an unfulfilling relationship, at least he'd get over it._

Wooyoung receives a sympathetic smile from San. He doesn't bother correcting him, letting him think his climax brought him to tears.

_After all, San would have Yeosang to make it better._

Laying on him, Wooyoung holds San as close as humanly possible.

_This was it. This was the final time he'd be this happy._

And if San notices Wooyoung's continuously flowing tears well after they've finished, he doesn't mention it.

_I'm glad I got to love you the way I did._

...

He regrets knowing he thought it up, it was his idea in the first place.

An idea he so deeply regrets that he’s willing to take back his words and tell San the truth.

He doesn’t.

Instead, Wooyoung savors the last few moments of physical interaction he has with San.

Their end was nearing and nothing was going to stop it.

It was long overdue.

…

(8 months ago, Christmas)

"Honestly with the way you were eyeing him Seonghwa, I'd have thought he was a meal." Says Mingi, with a sly smirk looking at Seonghwa who eyes the person sitting at another table.

Turning bright red, Seonghwa quickly scolds him. "Keep your tone down, I don't want him to hear the string of stupidity flying out of your mouth."

"Oh please, as if I could scare your boyfriend away, when you're giving him that look."

A quick yelp, and Mingi is being attacked by Seonghwa who repeatedly tells him to "shut up", poking the hell out of his abdominals.

It wouldn't surprise the rest of them if his abs were fully defined after their bickering.

Looking away from Mingi and Seonghwa, Yunho sighs, sipping from his holiday coffee cup, turning to make conversation with the other 3 on his left.

The cold season brought the group to a coffee shop. Each had their respective cups of coffee or hot chocolate. The weather outside being too cold, all with their multiple coats and scarves placed aside as they relished the warmth within the shop.

All 6 of them (Seonghwa, Mingi, Yunho, Yeosang, San, and Wooyoung) had decided to meet up for Christmas, before each left to celebrate the rest of the holidays at home.

Yunho smiles as he glances to the two sitting across from each other, by the window.

Both San and Wooyoung look happy as they chat about whatever comes to their unpredictable minds. 

'Maybe San will finally act on his crush?' Thinks Yunho when remembering the talk he had with San a while back.

Looking away from the immersed pair, Yunho looks at Yeosang who sits across from him, who eyes his beverage with a slight blush. 

'Maybe it's from the warmth?' Yunho guesses, the shop was kind of stuffy with all their warm clothes on.

Pushing his thoughts aside, Yunho almost wants to ask Yeosang if he wants to switch places. The poor thing was squished between Wooyoung and Mingi, who both never stayed still, 'Maybe that's why he was blushing so?' 

Yunho rolls his eyes as he recalls the slight argument that occurred a few minutes ago, which was the reason for their seating arrangements.

Wooyoung with his VERY appreciated commentary had said Mingi and Yunho 'flirted too much' and therefore he didn't want them placed next to or across from each other, lest they want him to barf.

Everyone but Mingi and Yunho agreed, apparently they were annoyingly lovey-dovey. ('Honestly what did they expect?' Yunho thinks to himself as him and Mingi were indeed DATING.)

Hence why Seonghwa was labeled the 'poor soul' (courtesy of Wooyoung) who was 'sacrificed' (added on by San) to sit next to Yunho and across from Mingi.

Thus, Yunho was placed between San and Seonghwa, with Yeosang across from him, only one seemingly unbothered by the couple (probably because he dealt with it everyday at their shared apartment).

Yunho focuses his thoughts back on Yeosang, who was the only one sitting peacefully, listening to the conversations around him.

Yunho taps on the table in front of Yeosang's cup, his attempt at getting his attention.

Yeosang looks up, nodding at him, to which Yunho responds with a smile, receiving one back.

Clearing his throat, Yunho speaks up about what Yeosang had said a couple days ago.

"Yeosang you know how you said you were thinking of moving out?" Yunho is met with a nod, "Well, I just wanted to ask if it had anything to do with Mingi and I? Like, did it come to mind because we were annoying you? Were we too much of a bother?"

Yeosang quickly shakes his head, "Oh no! It wasn't like that at all. I just wanted a bit more space, since you know, I've always lived with someone else."

"Really? Thank goodness, I was scared you were forcing yourself out of there because of us." Yunho sighs with a bit of relief.

"No, I just wanted a bit more...privacy? Like I'm fine with my own room, but sometimes I want more than just that space."

Yunho nods along, completely understanding Yeosang, especially since he'd similarly felt that way before he got with Mingi.

"Anyways, I have been giving it a bit of thought, but I'm not quite sure yet. I just wanted to let you know if I ever did make a final decision." Yeosang laughs behind his sleeve at Yunho's expression, both knowing how dramatic he can get with sudden decisions.

Laughing along Yunho reaches over and pats Yeosang's hand, "Well I'm glad. I thought it might've had something to do with the ruckus Mingi and I made."

Wooyoung perks up at that, having heard their conversation, and immediately starts laughing.

"No way? Poor Yeosang, you've officially ruined him forever." Snickers Wooyoung, who pats Yeosang's shoulder in mock sympathy.

Yeosang shakes with laughter, Yunho slightly glares at Wooyoung and then at Yeosang who wipes a nonexistent tear from his eye. 

"No," Yeosang laughs, "It wasn't that." Yeosang calms his laughter, "Just a necessary change in my life since we see each other every day."

Yunho smiles at him and signals an 'ok', turning his attention to Wooyoung who watched the rest of their exchange with a grimace.

"Yeosang, if I had known, I would've invited you over much more often, who knows what you went through."

"Oh shut up Wooyoung, as if you don't bring just about anyone into your apartment." Says Yunho teasingly.

San, who had stopped conversing with Wooyoung because he butted into Yunho and Yeosang's conversation, spits out his coffee, having a coughing fit at Yunho's words.

"Oh please as if I have time for that! I've been too busy with work to care about that." 

Yunho side eyes him, "Sure, whatever you say."

Rolling his eyes, Wooyoung looks back at San who has calmed down from his coughing fit.

After regaining his composure, San takes the moment to look around the shop, since he'd been so immersed in conversation with Wooyoung that he didn't pay attention to his surroundings.

Suddenly, San's eyes widen and he's shouting, "Hongjoong? What are you doing here?"

At being called, Hongjoong looks up from his writing, catching sight of San and waving back at him.

(Seonghwa emits a slight 'eep' which has Mingi bursting out in laughter.)

San makes to get out of his seat, wanting to know why his apartment buddy wasn't with his family to spend the holidays with.

After passing by Yunho and Seonghwa, San heads over to Hongjoong, leaving the 5 of them with varying expressions on their faces.

Yunho notes the way Wooyoung seems unaffected, as though to have seen him before.

Next to him, Yunho notes the way Yeosang looks slightly cautious, with slight curiosity in his eyes. (Which is the same expression Yunho has on his face, except without the cautiousness.)

His boyfriend, Mingi, who sits next to Yeosang, continues to laugh at the red-faced Seonghwa sitting next to Yunho.

Seonghwa for his part, doesn't say anything to prevent any teasing from Mingi.

After all, Hongjoong was the person Seonghwa had been eyeing since they arrived.

The 5 of them resume their conversations, Mingi continues teasing Seonghwa. Yunho, Wooyoung and Yeosang talk about New Years, and having a gettogether (albeit a little distractedly on Yeosang's part).

A couple minutes pass, and San's making his way back to their table, Hongjoong in tow.

Yunho feels Seonghwa shift next to him, focusing his attention to look outside the window instead of the incoming pair. 

(Mingi snickers quietly.)

"Hey guys, meet my short apartment buddy, Hongjoong." Introduces San, who gestures at the smaller man next to him.

Rolling his eyes at the diss, Hongjoong continues, "Yep, that's me, the shorty."

San laughs at him.

"Also, rude! You didn't even notice when I walked in and now you wanna act as though we're super good friends?" Hongjoong says with mock offense, referring to San.

"For your information, you didn't either!" San retorts. "You were too busy writing who knows what, in that diary of yours."

San sticks out his tongue at Hongjoong, who punches him on the arm.

"Once again, it isn't a diary, it's my journal for inspiration. You really need to learn more terms, maybe I'll hook you up with an address to a library." Replies Hongjoong with a slight laugh.

San rolls his eyes, and smiles despite the insult, "Anyways, that's Yunho, Seonghwa, you already know Wooyoung, that's Yeosang, and this is Mingi." San points to each as he says their names.

Hongjoong looks at all their faces, greeting them with a smile, except the person named Seonghwa, who doesn't look at him.

"I'm glad I finally got to meet you all." Hongjoong lingers on Wooyoung. "As much as I would love to continue dissing San, I kind of have to go. Duty calls, and unless I wanna be scolded again, I better go." 

Hongjoong nods his head at each of them, waving goodbye as he turns to leave. 

He feels all eyes on his back as he makes his way to the door.

At the corner of his eye, he sees shining eyes looking at him, apparently finally having turned his head after seeing him leave.

With the chime of the door's bell, Hongjoong continues his path through the cold, leaving the other 6 to watch him maneuver his way out.

San turns his attention away from Hongjoong, and sees Seonghwa's longing look.

"What's up with you?"

Flustered, Seonghwa looks away "N-Nothing."

Across from him, Mingi covers his face with his hand, attempting to hide his laughter at Seonghwa's poor pining.

San brushes it off in favor of sitting back down.

Before he can however, Seonghwa stands up and interrupts his movements, "On second thought, I think I should finish packing my travel bags."

"Oh okay," Seonghwa adjusts his clothes and grabs his cup, "Well see you later," smiles San, watching Seonghwa bolt out the door, clearly in a rush. 

"You know, I think we should get going too, we were planning on making cookies today, wanna come with, Yeosang?" Says Yunho, who stands up at the same time as Mingi.

Yeosang nods, and stands up as well.

All three slip on their thick coats and scarves, waving their goodbyes as they exit the shop, leaving San and Wooyoung behind.

"And then there were two," mutters Wooyoung, looking up at San who remains standing in slight confusion, still processing the abruptness of everyone leaving, after Hongjoong had. 

"Wow, the power he holds," whispers San to himself, sitting down across from Wooyoung again.

Reeling himself back to their current predicament, San smirks and says teasingly, "Since it's the two of us again, does this fall into the date category?"

He takes a sip from his cup, while Wooyoung responds with, "Of course it does."

They simultaneously reach for each other's hands, intertwining them on the tabletop.

"You know, after how many times Hongjoong has seen you in our apartment, I'm surprised he didn't say anything just now." San says in deep thought, Wooyoung only shrugs at the comment.

"On second thought, he must've been preoccupied with a certain someone. Especially since I know damn well that he isn't working today." San snickers at the obviousness in Hongjoong's actions.

Wooyoung nods along with a smirk, "Honestly you'd have to be blind to not notice the way both snuck glances at each other." San hums in agreement.

"They're both whipped already, and they haven't even talked to each other yet."

"I doubt that…" San says trailing off, "In fact I think it's safe to say Seonghwa caught up to him after he practically ran out of here." Laughs San, finding it cute how both were pining.

Wooyoung laughs along, smiling at the possibility of their friends' relationship.

The pair settle in comfortable conversation, talking about their day and mentioning the random things that come to their head. 

About a half hour later, Wooyoung invites San to his apartment, since both weren't travelling for the holidays. 

Wooyoung considered himself lucky since he shares an apartment with Jongho (who's currently performing in different countries as part of his singing career), San's apartment not being an option because Hongjoong would likely be there.

Gathering their belongings and stepping outside into the relentless cold weather, San and Wooyoung walk hand in hand, their shivering forms cuddling closer the longer they're outside.

At his apartment door, Wooyoung unlocks it, gesturing for San to enter first. 

Immediately San's face is blasted by the apartment's heater, he sighs at the warmth, taking off his shoes by the door and heading to sit on the couch.

Wooyoung follows soon after, inching closer to San, and reaching for him to cuddle.

The TV is turned on, the pair cuddle, occasional kisses here and there, comfortable silence between them.

While San enjoys the drama played on the screen, Wooyoung is hit with emotions at the serenity of their moment.

His eyes begin to tear up, and San coos at him, wiping away his tears and kissing his cheek, calming his tears by saying "It's just a show."

While Wooyoung accepts the comfort, his mind is far from the current show.

'How could he take this opportunity away from Yeosang? It should be him here cuddling San, while I'm out fucking around with a stranger.'

San rests his head on his chest, focused on the screen, after having comforted Wooyoung as best as he could.

Looking at his peaceful expression, Wooyoung's heart breaks a little , 'Am I allowed to be this happy?'

A sudden shriek from San jolts him, which San notices, cuddling into him and holding on, to prevent him from moving away.

Giving a cheeky smile to him, San turns back to the TV, noticing Wooyoung's expression changed from that of surprise to softness.

Wooyoung indulges in the emotions he feels with San, given the limited time.

Even though he knows he isn't doing the right thing by taking Yeosang's place, he couldn't help but feel a little bit selfish for wanting to feel such emotions.

Maybe he'll put a stop to keeping their relationship a secret, Yeosang deserved to know, as did the rest of their group.

They couldn't continue to be hidden, if Wooyoung's emotions progressed into something more than liking San.

…

Without either San or Wooyoung noticing, a lone figure watches them from afar, hidden behind the multiple trees and countless passerbys.

Yeosang doesn’t know how to feel.

He had seen San hug Wooyoung and kiss him on the cheek earlier.

His fists are clenching the grocery bag in his hand.

He saw the way they were looking at each other, the way they were holding onto each other.

He should’ve seen it coming, after all, it was he who decided to make San smile that dimpled smile he loved so much, despite knowing San had feelings for Wooyoung.

...

(4 months ago, Seonghwa’s birthday)

As much as Yeosang loved his best friend (although he could be unbearably annoying), he couldn't help but feel an odd satisfaction at seeing him reject San whenever the group had a gettogether.

He'd first noticed at Yunho's party, where Wooyoung and San arrived together, but then Wooyoung ditched San in favor of talking to everyone else, a very peculiar sight considering they were typically attached at the hip.

Currently, the group had decided to head to Seonghwa's house for his birthday. After noticing the numerous glances Seonghwa and Hongjoong shot at each other, Yeosang was about ready to leave, until San arrived.

Feeling happy at seeing San, so that he wouldn't be alone with Yunho, Mingi, Seonghwa, and Hongjoong, Yeosang's smile quickly faded at seeing San's slightly saddened expression.

Yeosang couldn't put a finger to why he was so down turned, until 2 hours later, when Wooyoung finally showed up.

And again, it was peculiar to see Wooyoung quickly hug San and greet him, and then leave him alone for the rest of the party, as he instead teased Seonghwa about his age.

Yeosang wasn't sure if he was overexaggerating, but San's mood continuously dropped for the duration of the party.

He figured this was his chance to get closer to San, especially since Wooyoung out of the picture seemed to hurt San.

There was only one thing for him to do.

Yeosang had to take it upon himself to make San smile again.

…

He wants to laugh out loud at his stupidity.

He had known that even if he could brighten San’s days, he’d still fall back to Wooyoung.

Even after all his efforts, Yeosang doesn’t know whether to feel pleased he made a difference, or to feel regret that he approached him.

…

(3 months ago)

It was a month later, in May, that Yeosang's chance came in the form of a carnival. 

He took it upon himself to invite San to said carnival, where he was met with a 'maybe'.

However, on the day of their outing, while Yeosang was lounged in his shared living room, San appeared on his doorstep, appropriately dressed to go to the carnival.

To say he was surprised was an understatement, in fact he stood at the door looking at San as though he'd conjured him up with his own imagination.

It took San pushing him inside to his room, to get him out of that shock.

Once Yeosang had found fitting clothes, they'd both made their way to the carnival, making small talk as they walked.

One of the topics that came up during their conversation ('What convinced you to come, San?') left a sour taste in Yeosang's mouth.

After all, San only agreed after he'd been ditched by Wooyoung.

Yeosang can't say for sure whether he was mad at Wooyoung for ditching San to hangout with Seonghwa, or to be jealous that he was a second choice.

Despite his thoughts, they were brushed aside when San pointed out one of the giant balloon animals that came into their view.

To say they had a blast, was another understatement, they only focused on the fun they had, both forgetting their worries with each other.

Just as Yeosang was about to call it a day (the countless rides had tired him out, and the food left his stomach full), San mentioned wanting to win a plushie for himself at one of the booths.

Yeosang immediately agreed ('Maybe I can impress him by winning him the plushie?'), and both walked to one of the booths.

Yeosang stepped up, San next to him with a bright, dimpled smile on his face.

Despite the confidence he'd started with, Yeosang was embarrassed recalling the amount of time and money he'd spent, without coming close to winning a plushie.

And although he wasn't rewarded with a stuffed animal, he figured the laughter bubbling from San's lips as he pathetically made his attempt, was reward enough.

He'd gladly make a fool of himself, if this was the reaction he was met with.

It took San a while before he could function, after calming down from his laughter, to take pity on Yeosang and try the game out himself.

Unlike Yeosang's (embarrassing) multiple attempts, San only took one, winning a plushie on his first try.

To say Yeosang was pouty the entire way home was a lie (he'd deny it to his grave!), he even made it a point to convince San that they both won it.

San, after bragging the whole way home, finally agreed to the compromise.

He reasoned that since Yeosang had failed so many times, he was able to figure out how the game worked.

And although it didn't make up for their time and Yeosang's money, it certainly made him feel better about not winning San the plushie on his own.

Thus, the plushie was won by both their efforts.

(And if San ever had someone ask him about how he won the plushie, Yeosang made him promise that he'd only tell that it was won at a carnival. After all, Yeosang didn't think he could handle the teasing it'd ensue if anyone else knew the truth.)

Yeosang closes his eyes, exhaustion almost pulling him into a deep sleep.

His final thoughts before knocking out were that of San calling his plushie by a name that started with an 'S'.

Before his muddled brain can recall the full name, he's lulled into sleep, tiredness taking over.

Yeosang dreams of a big green hill.

He sees San waving to him from the top, actions finally clear without the fuzziness of before.

…

Some distance away, Wooyoung tightens his hold on San’s fingers, keeping his tears at bay.

Those shining eyes of San remind him of the day he had to swallow the pill of reality.

The way those eyes weren’t directed at him, but at Yeosang.

He just didn’t know it’d hurt so much seeing them hold someone else in their view.

…

(1 month ago, San’s birthday)

Wooyoung has fucked up.

After arriving home and finding Jongho there (who decided he needed a break from singing), Wooyoung had distractedly mentioned meeting his boyfriend to give him a present, when Jongho inquired about his whereabouts.

His mind, not having caught up with the slip up, resulted in Jongho dragging him to sit, as he asked for more information.

"Since when did you go around dating?"

Ignoring his question, Wooyoung gets up and turns into his room, forgetting to close the door behind him.

"Wait a minute, isn't San's birthday today?" Jongho's eyes widen at his own speculation, leaning on the door frame to get answers.

"You're dating San!" His question comes off as a statement, making Wooyoung wince.

"No, I just happen to be dating someone who has the same birthday as him." Says Wooyoung, attempting to mask the nervousness in his voice.

"Oh really? But I thought…" Jongho slightly deflates, but suddenly...

"You're lying aren't you? It is San!" Jongho claps as though he'd just won the lottery (in his head, he probably did).

"Okay fine! Yes I'm dating San, but we're keeping it a secret from the group."

"Does this mean I'm the first one to know?" Jongho's eyes light up with excitement, he's glad he came home today.

Laughing at his childish reaction, Wooyoung nods, "Anyways, I'm heading to San's place to give him his present, but don't mention our relationship to anyone, alright?" He says sternly, hoping Jongho doesn't let slip their secret.

"I promise, I'll keep my lips sealed." Jongho raises his hand as a pledge.

"Okay cool, well I'm heading out right now, wanna come with to avoid suspicion?"

"Oh, sure! I was gonna give him the souvenir I got for him."

Leaving to his own room, Jongho opens his suitcase and reaches for a slightly crumpled bag, smoothing it out as best as he can.

"All set! Let's go!" Jongho makes his way to the front door, reaching for the door handle, Wooyoung smiling at him from behind.

The entire walk to San's apartment was spent with Jongho mentioning his travels.

Wooyoung eagerly listened to his experiences, even asking Jongho about any romantic spots he encountered (wondering if a mini escapade overseas could make up for the terrible boyfriend he had been to San). Jongho enthusiastically answers his questions.

It's at the foot of San's doorstep that Wooyoung hesitates in knocking, Jongho looks at him confusedly before hearing the voices from inside, filtering outside.

He listens carefully, obviously wanting to know why Wooyoung slightly deflates and why he's hesitating.

Jongho hears San's apartment buddy, San, and...Yeosang?

Looking back at Wooyoung, Jongho wonders…

Wooyoung takes a step back, handing over his gift to Jongho, motioning for him to go in, while he looks as though he's about to run off.

Just as Jongho is about to tell him to stop, the door is opened in front of his face.

Jongho is met face-to-face with San's apartment buddy.

Surprised to see the two, Hongjoong quickly shakes his head, and nods at both.

"Hey come in, we were just about to order food." Hongjoong points inside, to where San and Yeosang must be, sitting at the table together (Jongho presumes).

Jongho looks back at Wooyoung, who has a conflicted expression on his face.

(He wonders why Wooyoung seems hesitant to meet his boyfriend and his best friend.)

Making up his mind, Wooyoung steps forward, and right as he steps foot in, his eyes widen, and suddenly he's turning around exclaiming his goodbye's to Hongjoong and Jongho, who look at him in confusion.

Waving him off, Hongjoong ushers Jongho in, closing the door after him.

As soon as he looks up from taking off his shoes, Jongho understands Wooyoung's abrupt departure.

Sitting on the couch (not the table he originally thought they were at), are San and Yeosang snuggled against each other, holding hands as Yeosang speaks lowly and San giggles.

They appear to be in their own world, seemingly not noticing the commotion at the door a few moments ago.

It's then that Jongho gets it.

(Maybe not totally, but he might have some inclination to Wooyoung's secrecy.)

Jongho exclaims his arrival, singing San happy birthday with the vocals he possesses, gifts in hand.

It ends up being a two hour stay, all of which Jongho doesn't fail to notice San and Yeosang's comfortability.

They seem to be the new pair attached at the hip.

As much as Jongho wants to be happy to celebrate San's birthday, he can't find it in himself to feel so.

He glances at Hongjoong, and notices his expression of happiness.

Seems as though Wooyoung really wasn't lying when he said Jongho was the first one to find out.

Forcing a smile on his face as Hongjoong whisks him to the kitchen to give the 'couple' some space, Jongho wants to shout at him.

He feels the urge to run into the living room and pull San and Yeosang apart.

He wants to scream in San's face and tell him he's with Wooyoung, but he can't, he must keep it a secret.

Jongho simply swallows the lump in his throat, politely smiling and nodding along to Hongjoong gushing about San and Yeosang's relationship.

Jongho could only take so much before reaching his breaking point.

(He wishes he never arrived at the apartment, wishes he wasn't a witness to how San and Yeosang hurt Wooyoung.)

And although he wasn't directly affected, it was hard for him not to sympathize with Wooyoung after recalling the way he asked about the romantic spots during his travels in that hopeful tone of his.

As well as the fact that Wooyoung had been the only constant in his continuously changing life, sympathizing with him was the least he could do.

Wooyoung had been the annoying friend who was always there for him, so he felt his next action made up for a fraction of what he'd helped him through.

"Wooyoung gave you that present, it wasn't me. Check up on him, when you find the time to." Jongho says monotonously from his spot at the door.

He gains satisfaction at seeing San's fallen face, the way he slowly pulls away from Yeosang who remains seated, with adorable confusion.

Jongho leaves at that moment, feeling his job is done, hoping Wooyoung isn't as heartbroken as he is (even though he knows full well Wooyoung must be worse off than him, he can only hope for the best of his friend's mentality).

…

Wooyoung almost bursts out laughing in San’s face.

He recalls the way he ran to Seonghwa’s house, only to leave with good advice, of which he would never follow.

…

(1 month ago, San’s birthday)

"Don't tell me you're having boy troubles again." Says Seonghwa teasingly, who looks at the slumped Wooyoung in front of his doorstep.

"Alright get in, I don't know how much I'll be able to help you, since I still don't know who it is, but I can try." 

Pulling Wooyoung in by his arm, Seonghwa leads him to one of his kitchen chairs, while he goes to fill up a glass of water for Wooyoung.

Setting the glass in front of his face, and sitting across from him, Seonghwa waits for Wooyoung.

"Well...I-"

The doorbell rings to Seonghwa's house, his cheeks lighting up as he remembers he was supposed to have a guest over.

Quickly apologizing to Wooyoung, Seonghwa goes for the door, opening it to find Hongjoong at his doorstep.

Wooyoung watches as the pair interact, it was adorably awkward, momentarily disturbing him from his own troubles.

It was so obvious that Seonghwa and Hongjoong liked each other, but for some reason, after all these times he's visited Seonghwa, they never took the next step.

(In the back of his head, he was reminded of Yeosang's own struggles with pursuing San, and again, he was brought back to his own reality.)

After both Seonghwa and Hongjoong sat themselves at the table, they realized Wooyoung was silently staring at them.

"Don't tell me, you're having boy problems again?" Questions Hongjoong.

"Damn you guys really are meant for each other." Grumbles Wooyoung, ignoring the way both their faces flame bright red, simultaneously.

"W-Whatever, what was it you wanted to talk about?" Asks Seonghwa looking away from Hongjoong and towards Wooyoung.

"Well you both guessed correctly to why I'm here so I'll just jump right into what I wanna say." Replies Wooyoung before he takes a deep breath and begins.

(After visiting Seonghwa the first time a while ago, he was used to Hongjoong listening in, he was always there and even provided his own tips.)

"Here's the thing...I'm in love!" Blurts Wooyoung, his cheeks dusted with a light pink.

"Wait what?" Seonghwa looks wildly between Hongjoong and Wooyoung, wondering if he heard correctly.

Upon seeing Hongjoong's nod, he guesses he was right.

"What the fuck is all this about?" Ponders Seonghwa, wondering when the hell Wooyoung actually caught feelings, after being used to seeing him sleep around.

"I said what I said," Wooyoung answers, avoiding looking at Seonghwa, "I'm most definitely in love."

Hongjoong recovers before Seonghwa, "When did you realize?"

"Well it was a combination of time and understanding? I guess I only figured out how I felt when I thought about the moments?"

"You know, maybe we can help if we actually knew who you were referring to?" Seonghwa says gently, hoping to help Wooyoung as much as he could.

Sparing a glance at both Seonghwa and Hongjoong, Wooyoung thinks that it's now or never, "It's someone close to all of us."

Nodding and figuring they should spare Wooyoung the embarrassment of saying exactly who he's referring to, Hongjoong asks, "Well if it's a close friend of ours, maybe you should tell them?"

"Yeah I agree with Hongjoong, you should go ahead and tell them, after all, you'd get it over with, and I'm sure they wouldn't hold it against you." Adds Seonghwa, soft eyes on Wooyoung.

Instead of nodding along or at least looking calmer, Wooyoung scratches his head out of frustration.

'Of course they couldn't help,' thinks Wooyoung, caught between saying everything or continuing the secrecy.

Moving his hands to his sides, Wooyoung schools a calm expression on his face, before looking up at the pair and smiling.

"Thank you, it's what I needed." 

Hearing the obvious lack of emotion, Seonghwa lets him off, considering he did just spill a huge emotion to them.

"No problem, I hope you talk with whoever this person is, and be honest with them. I think they deserve to not be left in the dark when you feel so strongly for them." Finishes Hongjoong, watching as Wooyoung rises from the table.

"Yeah, I'll keep it in mind." Wooyoung politely smiles, putting his shoes on and opening the door to head out.

"I'll see you guys later, thanks for the advice!" Wooyoung says as he shuts the door, leaving Seonghwa and Hongjoong with their own guesses about who Wooyoung loves.

"You don't think it's…" begins Seonghwa.

"Yes I think so. I mean isn't it obvious? When I was at my apartment earlier, he didn't even enter because he saw Yeosang and San together." Hongjoong mentions.

"Yeah, I mean it adds up. Haven't they known each other for about 5 years now?" Asks Seonghwa.

"I guess it was only a matter of time before he told Yeosang, I mean imagine seeing your best friend and now the person you love, cuddle someone else?" Hongjoong relays his thought to Seonghwa.

Nodding along, Seonghwa adds, "Yeah, I figured he should, but honestly it looks like Yeosang has a thing for San?...I just hope none of them come out broken hearted."

Humming in agreement, Hongjoong grasps Seonghwa's hand, "Yeah, I sure hope they clear things out and be honest with each other…" he says as he looks into Seonghwa's eyes.

Catching his undertone, Seonghwa's eyes widen, "You don't mean…"

"Yep, I do, will you date me Seonghwa?"

…

The aftermath of his trip, all useless since Wooyoung indeed, didn’t heed their advice.

It was his final say in the matter with dating San.

…

(1 month ago, San’s birthday)

Wooyoung was such an idiot.

He reasoned that telling San he was in love with him was too abrupt.

'Wouldn't it seem out of nowhere?'

It surely didn't help when he remembers San's closeness to Yeosang.

'Why must everything be so complicated?'

As if to mock him, a couple walks past him, hand in hand, matching expressions of love in their eyes.

Wooyoung looks away, feeling as though he's invading the couple's privacy.

He instead focuses on the day his heart fluttered more noticeably than usual.

(Sourly, he recalls it was before he started avoiding San.)

It was like any other day, he'd woken up early to make breakfast for San and himself, after he'd stayed the night.

Instead of moving throughout the usual quiet apartment, Wooyoung was met with a messy haired San, grinning at him brightly, as if waking up was such an accomplishment.

Looking at San and the natural beauty he possessed (even though his hair most closely resembled that of a bird's nest), he couldn't help the flutter in his heart.

After that day, Wooyoung took note of the little messages of reminders throughout his apartment.

Although nothing romantic or inspirational was ever written on them, he felt oddly happy at how domestic it was.

Wooyoung never actually told San about how endearing the sticky notes were, but maybe he figured it out after seeing a new stack of sticky notes on Wooyoung's desk, a bright smile on San's face.

Wooyoung even recalls San wearing a light pink lipstick after offhandedly mentioning it looked good on him, or the way he wore Wooyoung's clothes around the apartment. Even the way San cuddled under his arm when they watched a movie together, Wooyoung noticed all of it.

These tiny details Wooyoung paid attention to definitely had a part in falling in love with San even more than he thought.

Despite his feelings, he could never bring himself to act on them.

If he did, San would stay longer with him, which was the opposite of what he wanted.

In fact, him shutting down San's advances with excuses, were all to prevent his feelings from growing stronger.

However, it didn't stop Wooyoung from loving him.

It especially didn't help at all when San's absence pained him, and made him long for him even more.

Leaving Wooyoung in his current predicament, there was no way he could tell San…

It would only seem like a plea for his body back, which is something Wooyoung never only wanted him for, it was too bad that San was as clingy as him.

They always seemed to fall back into bed together, their touches always leading to more.

As much as he longs for San, he reminds himself that his happiness is most important.

After all, he would love to keep dating him, but after seeing how much happier he'd recently been with Yeosang, perhaps it was for the best that he detached himself even more.

Wooyoung couldn't bear to think of his best friend. Just imagining a possibility of telling Yeosang that he was dating his crush, only left him with Yeosang's heartbroken face. 

'It's for the best,' he reasons, 'I want the two most important people in my life to be happy, they deserve it.'

'Maybe the only way to stop this mess…

Is…

if I end it.'

He finishes his thought with a smile.

Hiding like a coward behind his expression, Wooyoung ignores the pain in his heart, in favor of arriving back home and eating.

(Jongho doesn't comment on the overly cheery smile on Wooyoung's face after he'd arrived back home.

Nor does he point out the flow of tears that drip on the table, as Wooyoung eats the food Jongho brought from San's place.)

…

All three think about the events that happened a few days ago.

The events that led to the previously together couple, to come to a conclusion of finally breaking it all off.

The events that confirmed San’s feelings for Yeosang.

…

(A few days ago, Mingi’s birthday party)

It’s August.

San looks at his phone, rechecking the message Wooyoung had sent him.

It was a question, asking if they could arrive together to Mingi's party.

San recalls the way he had scrambled to reach for his phone, knocking down the jewelry he planned to wear to Mingi’s birthday party.

(San also remembers being slightly disappointed that it was Wooyoung, the temporary sadness quickly being masked by joy as he realized Wooyoung had contacted him again.)

Now here he was, searching in his closet, hoping to dress and impress Wooyoung.

He debates going with a bit of make-up or not, choosing to wear the light pink lipstick he bought a while back.

Looking at himself in the mirror, San smiles, happy he’s presentable to see his boyfriend after failing to meet up.

He grabs his phone, realizing he spent about 2 hours getting ready in his search to look presentable, opting to wait in the living room.

He’s excited and yet nervous, ‘Why would Wooyoung contact me now?’, his thoughts forgotten as someone knocks on the apartment door.

Almost rushing to pull open the handle, San is met with Wooyoung, who seems to be carrying a couple of flowers and a birthday gift.

Confused, San watches as Wooyoung hands him the flowers, receiving them with wide eyes as Wooyoung asks if he can come in.

Stepping aside, flowers in tow, San composes himself and closes the door behind Wooyoung, seeing him sit in their living room.

San sits across from Wooyoung, not knowing what to say, he surely didn’t expect himself to be so silent.

“So...it’s been a while…”

For some reason, San feels guilty, perhaps it was because he also turned Wooyoung down in favor of hanging out with Yeosang.

“Y-Yeah, I guess it has…”

The atmosphere between them is tense, both wondering what should be said.

“I missed you.” says Wooyoung, audible only for San’s ears.

“Me too…”

San doesn't know if his reply is totally truthful.

“I was hoping to arrive at Mingi’s birthday party together. Now I’m not so sure...maybe you’d prefer to go with Yeosang?” questions Wooyoung, allowing San the option to reject him.

“N-No, I actually wanted to go with you. Yeosang can go a few hours without me.” finishes San with a slight laugh.

(He doesn't catch the way Wooyoung slightly tenses at his comment.)

“Oh, well in that case let’s head over there, I’m kind of hungry to be honest.” Wooyoung says with a sheepish smile, San can only look at him with soft eyes.

“Yeah! Let me just go get Mingi's present.” San stands up and heads to his room, leaving Wooyoung alone in the living room.

Wooyoung nervously bites at his lip, this went better than expected. He was thinking he’d find an angry-looking San (or worse him and Yeosang), but he was met with an unresponsive San?

His frozen state was better than his angry state...right?

Hearing San’s footsteps, Wooyoung looks at him with a smile, offering his hand to San (like he did in their earlier days of dating), and both made their way out.

+

The music vibrated against the walls.

Everything in the apartment seemed to tremble in rhythm with the music.

People crowded all parts of the apartment (save for Yeosang and Yungi’s rooms that were locked, each holding the keys to them).

Alcohol was piled up in the kitchen, loud chatter filtered from each and every corner.

A couple of cheers from the dining room, where some of the games were being played, and some claps when presumably one side won over another.

San and Wooyoung take in their surroundings from the threshold of the apartment, Yunho having been the one to let them in.

"So, I'm gonna go ahead and guess that those gifts are for Mingi?" Yunho asks teasingly, grabbing the gifts from their extended hands, "Make yourselves at home, and enjoy the party!" With that, Yunho disappears from the entrance, leaving Wooyoung and San there.

Immediately, Wooyoung speaks up, "Well, maybe we should sit down first, make ourselves comfortable."

Nodding at him, Wooyoung takes San by his hand over to the couches, momentarily stopping at seeing Yeosang on one of those couches.

'How could I forget that Yeosang lives here too?' Thinks Wooyoung, mentally face palming himself at his stupidity.

"Sangie!" Exclaims San, at hearing his name, Yeosang looks up from his phone and gives a light wave, a smile on his face.

With that Wooyoung smiles too, having missed seeing his best friend (even though it was difficult to decipher if he wanted to genuinely see him or not).

"Hey Woo, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while!" Yeosang says excitedly, also having missed seeing his best friend.

"Well you know, just a couple of things here and there." Wooyoung lies through his teeth, knowing San is standing right next to him, he'd have to continue with his lie anyway.

"Oh, well at least you've been busy! Sannie has continuously been bothering me! Honestly sometimes I wish you were here so you'd get him off my back." Chuckles Yeosang, catching sight of San sticking his tongue out at him.

Wooyoung gulps at that, forcing his smile, "Yeah, maybe I should…"

"Wooyoung how about we just sit down? The couch looks comfortable." San whines, his legs still hurting from their walk there.

"Yeah sure," they move to sit on the couch opposite of Yeosang, who puts his phone down to make conversation with Wooyoung.

San stays at Wooyoung's side throughout their talk, hand still being clutched by Wooyoung.

Feeling bored, San shifts in place, removing his hands from Wooyoung's in order to wrap them around Wooyoung's neck.

After feeling satisfied of his hold on Wooyoung, San squishes his face between Wooyoung's neck and shoulder, smiling into it and closing his eyes.

Immediately, he feels Wooyoung pull away, almost in a hurry to pull San's arms away from him. He even nudges him with his shoulder to get his point across.

Pouting, San lightly glares at Wooyoung, looking down at his shoes, feeling bummed out.

'Did I do something wrong? Was it too much again?' San thinks to himself, not noticing Yeosang and Wooyoung who've stopped talking and are looking at him.

Next to him, Wooyoung feels a bit guilty.

He wants to take his actions back, and have San wrap his hands around him again.

But just thinking about the conversation he was having with Yeosang a few moments before, Wooyoung knew he couldn't do that.

After all, he noticed the side glances Yeosang made at San, when he'd latched onto Wooyoung earlier.

Wooyoung had also noticed the tiny glimmer of apprehension in Yeosang's eyes as he saw the way they cuddled.

During the entirety of Wooyoung recalling the quick events, San had apparently made up his mind to cuddle someone who actually let him.

That someone was Yeosang.

San stands up, and walks to the opposite couch, knowing Yeosang wouldn't deny him.

And he doesn't.

He watches as Yeosang opens his arms, and scoots a bit to let San fit in.

Although San doesn't put his face between his neck and shoulder (like he did with Wooyoung), he does wrap his arms around Yeosang.

Who's currently red-faced at having San cuddle him in the middle of a party with a bunch of strangers.

Yeosang tries his best to prevent his smile from widening, but he can't help it since San just chose him over Wooyoung as his cuddle partner.

Wooyoung on the other hand, tries his best to ignore the pang in his heart.

He'd been the one to ask San to go with him, and yet he'd ended up with Yeosang again.

He wanted so badly to explode at the two, but he couldn't bring himself to, he did push San away.

San looked so comfortable in Yeosang's arms, and Yeosang had the brightest smile on his face, he couldn't destroy that happiness.

Making up his mind, Wooyoung speaks up, "I think I'm gonna go ahead and find Mingi, that old man needs to be reminded of his age before he starts acting up again." He says with forced laughter, eyeing the cuddling pair in front of him who give him their full attention.

"But Wooyoung, isn't Mingi older than you by a couple of months?" Asks San with an adorable thinking face.

"Yeah, last time I checked Woo, you're turning the same age as him." Replies Yeosang who still has his arm around San (which Wooyoung notes with disdain).

"Whatever it doesn't matter, I'm gonna go bully him anyways, he deserves it!" And maybe Wooyoung was expecting San to go with him (even though it was a bit of a stretch), instead being met with slight disappointment as Yeosang and San started conversing with each other.

Walking past, Wooyoung catches the thumbs up behind San's head, following it to see Yeosang's flickering gaze.

He sees the way Yeosang makes sure to look at San as he's talking, but catches Wooyoung's eye, watching what his reaction to cuddling San would be.

Wooyoung not letting down his best friend, gives 2 thumbs-up, a smile on his face.

Yeosang's eyes widen, nodding immediately and turning his attention back to San.

Wooyoung notices the brighter smile on Yeosang's face, barely realizing that he just gave confirmation to Yeosang to 'go for it' with San.

Wooyoung had known Yeosang long enough to understand that the thumbs-up to him suggested more than PG activities.

He's hit with a wave of nostalgia, recalling the way Yeosang would interact with someone right in front of Wooyoung, to see if his best friend approved of them.

Sometimes Yeosang would give him a questioning look, asking if he should continue his pursuit.

Typically, Wooyoung gave him a thumbs-up, knowing his best friend needed some...experience.

Which is why Wooyoung is slightly baffled by his own actions for giving the 'go ahead' to Yeosang.

He'd only ever given a thumbs-up, maybe that was why Yeosang looked surprised.

Wooyoung had given him 2 thumbs-up, for the first time ever, totally showing his support for the two.

Continuing his way to find Mingi, Wooyoung doesn't let show his nervousness (wondering how far Yeosang would go with San).

He sees Mingi who stares at him with a confused face, eyebrows drawn together, with a funny smile.

Mingi doesn't mention Wooyoung's slightly hunched figure, nor does he comment on his expression.

Instead he brings Wooyoung in by the arm and hugs him lightly (which Wooyoung gratefully accepts), pulling away just as quickly to lead him to the drinks.

With Mingi's arm around his shoulders, Wooyoung feels comforted, his mind forgetting about the cuddling pair as he enjoys the party with the birthday boy.

However, San doesn't forget about Wooyoung.

Yeosang notices his far-away look, poking him on the arm, wondering what he has in mind.

San shakes his head a bit, and smiles, continuing the conversation with Yeosang.

In the back of his head, he wonders why he ever let himself hope that Wooyoung would stay by his side as they used to.

He shouldn't have let himself be so easily swayed, when Wooyoung had only texted him to ARRIVE together, not fall back into their old ways.

Huffing in exasperation for his own gullibleness, San continues talking with Yeosang, slowly forgetting about Wooyoung.

+

San and Yeosang are still sober, despite being in the kitchen surrounded by all the alcoholic drinks.

Yunho had informed San that Wooyoung had left early, saying something about his head hurting due to all the drinks he'd had.

Nodding it off, San asks about what Yunho had gotten for Mingi's birthday.

At being asked, Yunho's ears turn red. He scratches his head, unsure if he should say.

San raises his eyebrow, a smirk on his face, "Don't tell me you got him something cheesy like matching necklaces." 

Yeosang laughs lightly next to him, while Yunho shakes his head, his cheeks turning bright red.

"No! But I did get matching bracelets..." Yunho shows them his wrist, embarrassed he had been found out so quickly.

San and Yeosang holler with laughter, Yunho can only turn red as he listens to the multiple "cute" or "you guys are so adorable!".

Hearing the commotion, Mingi perks up and walks to his boyfriend, wrapping his arm around his waist, as Yunho hides his embarrassment in his shoulder.

Mingi feels the heat of Yunho's face on his shirt, opting to pat his head as he laughs at his adorableness.

San looks at them with a smile on his face, they were a couple he wanted to be like.

It brings him back to thinking about Wooyoung, 'Would they ever have a moment like this?'

His thoughts turn bitter, realizing he's jealous of the relationship Yungi have.

'Just look at them, you'll never have that, Wooyoung would never want you like that.'

At the tap on his shoulder, San is interrupted from his thoughts.

Yeosang, having caught the apparent sadness mixed with slight jealousy on San's face, reminds him the pair is still in front of them.

Looking at him gratefully for stopping his unnecessary emotions towards the pair, San asks Mingi when he's planning to open up his gifts.

With that, Mingi answers excitedly, while Yeosang zones out of the conversation.

He did after all, look at the scene of Yungi together, wishing it were him and San.

He thought of holding San in his arms, comforting him in public.

Yeosang couldn't let himself wish for it though, not until he was sure San liked him.

+

All the fret over San not liking him amounted to nothing, because Yeosang received his confirmation soon after.

One moment he's opening the door to his room with San behind him, and the next he's being pushed inside, back against the now closed door.

San has a hand on his chest, looking at him with a dangerous glint in his eye.

Yeosang can only gulp down his nervousness, as San leans closer to him.

It's at the touch of their lips, that Yeosang wants to blame the alcohol for clouding their judgement.

He can't however, as he remembers they're both completely sober.

He realizes San kissing him isn't a mistake, spurring him to kiss back.

With a trail of his hand, San begins to unbutton Yeosang's shirt, their kisses growing heated.

Yeosang repeats to himself that he isn't dreaming, San likes him back, that's why San was the one to make the first move.

Yeosang moves forward, hands on San's waist, stepping towards his bed, guiding San along as he trails his lips across his jaw, to his neck.

Yeosang likes this, San against his body, kissing and biting at his neck as he pulls his shirt off of him.

It was something Yeosang never thought San would do to him.

With a light push, San's back is against the mattress, looking up at Yeosang who hovers over him, his gentle hands prying open his shirt.

'It feels new,' thinks San, his chest rising up and down in anticipation.

Yeosang's hands graze his chest, lightly trailing them to his pants.

San watches Yeosang's face, he sees the way he smiles at him when their eyes meet, his gaze a mixture of hazy lust and love.

San feels himself blush, never having been looked at like that by any of his partners.

He finds himself liking the slow pace, being able to feel every touch and kiss Yeosang leaves on his body.

Even though he's left breathless at the delicacy he's treated with, he enjoys the wait, especially since it was Yeosang.

The sweet Yeosang who listened to his troubles, the one who comforted him, the one who didn't push him away when he craved affection.

The same Yeosang who was thrusting into him, whispering sweet words and praises into San's ears, as his tears flow from the gentleness of it all.

It felt overwhelming with how meaningful it all was, but San liked the change.

It's after San and Yeosang finish, Yeosang threading his long fingers in San's hair, whispering kind words into his hair, that San realizes why it all felt so different.

It wasn't that they did anything new, it was just that there was an additional factor.

San's heart pounds against his ribcage, he's too scared to finish his thoughts. 

He tries to focus on watching Yeosang remove his hand from his hair, using it to reach for his blanket to cover both of them.

It's all a futile attempt as San's thoughts still linger in his head.

The only thing his brain supplies for him as Yeosang pulls him closer to his chest and under his chin, is that four lettered word.

San closes his eyes, snuggling into Yeosang's body, the word in bright, bold, red letters.

He ignores it, in favor of enjoying Yeosang's comfort, and welcoming the wisps of sleep he feels.

San dreams of a green hill.

He's on top of it, looking down at the foot of the hill, where Yeosang stands.

At seeing him, San runs down the hill, rushing into Yeosang's open arms.

…

Wooyoung and San both notice the figure hidden by the trees, walk away from them.

San looks at the retreating back with hope.

Wooyoung looks at San with pain.

Yeosang only continues walking, not turning back.

All three have varying expressions.

One looks ahead with a serene face.

Another looks happy.

The last holds sadness, hurt that everything had to end this way.

...

(A couple of days ago, a day after Mingi’s birthday party)

Yeosang wakes up to an empty bed, checking his phone to see that San had left in a hurry for work.

He can only grin as he reads the text message.

Out of nowhere, he's reminded of the night before, San's breathy moans, and quivering body as he touched and kissed it, till he shivered with delight.

He shakes his head, to rid himself of those thoughts, which only makes him remember San's face of pain and pleasure as he pounded into him.

Again, he shakes his head to get rid of those thoughts, focusing on the way San gripped his hand, and the way he didn't let him stray too far from him.

Yeosang feels his heart clench, emotional about the little details he's noticing, especially since San returned his feelings.

Wiping away any tears that might've left his eyes from sheer happiness, he texts Wooyoung.

The message was a gist of the previous night, and how he planned to ask San to date him the next time he sees him.

He leaves his phone on his bed to get ready for the day, and is only messaged back when he's finished changing.

He checks and sees Wooyoung's reply.

'Ok, good luck.'

Yeosang feels some kind of guilt.

Recalling the way Wooyoung looked slightly upset, and instead of asking about it, he'd cuddled with San yesterday on the couch.

He couldn't help but feel even worse when he remembers Wooyoung had left early during his birthday party.

His guilt consumes him as he realizes how selfish he's being by pushing his happiness in Wooyoung's face, when he was obviously bothered by something yesterday.

He supposes he should meet up with Wooyoung and ask about it, but not until later, since he still has work to get to.

+

Wooyoung feels as though he might throw up.

He was staring at Yeosang's text, rereading the digital words, until they seemed to be burned into his mind.

Yeosang had finally done it.

He'd finally gotten San to notice him.

'Who was he kidding?'

They literally had sex, it was the biggest confirmation that San didn't like him anymore.

He didn't blame him.

Wooyoung had purposely avoided San, and he couldn't even act surprised that he'd grown closer to Yeosang.

It seemed like there was only one thing to do.

He had to break things off with San, he only had eyes for Yeosang now.

Wooyoung wants to feel betrayed, wants to be hurt by Yeosang's merciless pursuit.

He can't.

Yeosang didn't even know he and San had been together, only Jongho.

He grows frustrated with himself, knowing Yeosang would've immediately put a stop to everything if he HAD known San was dating him.

He feels pathetic.

Useless.

He let it happen in front of his eyes, and he didn't do anything about it.

He couldn't even blame San.

If he had been around with him more, he would've never started hanging out with Yeosang.

San probably wouldn't even have noticed him, much less caught feelings for him.

But Wooyoung did leave him alone, he put a stop to almost everything that founded their relationship.

With great regret, Wooyoung blames himself.

'It's all my fault, I shouldn't have slept with San.'

'I knew Yeosang liked him when I slept with him.'

'I even continued the relationship because I wanted to feel what it was like to be in love.'

Wooyoung wails out as he realizes his own selfishness.

Trembling, his tears blur his vision.

There was nothing left for him and San.

It was Yeosang and San now.

As much as he forces the smile on his face when Jongho opens his door, it's immediately torn down when Jongho envelops him in his arms.

He lets himself cry, he lets himself wail, he lets himself wallow in shame and guilt.

Jongho just pats his arm, humming a soft tune to help him calm down.

It was easy for Jongho to figure out what had happened.

Wooyoung had lost San to Yeosang.

It wasn't a possibility anymore, it was a fact.

Wooyoung's phone rings, both look over and see the name.

'Sannie'

Wooyoung erupts in laughter, despite both knowing nothing was funny about it.

Jongho watches the phone ring, Wooyoung continues laughing, San stops calling.

A notification follows soon after, Wooyoung reads it and grabs his phone, throwing it against his wall.

He turns back to Jongho, crying into his shirt.

Jongho can only comfort Wooyoung until he falls asleep.

He lifts his legs so that Wooyoung is laying on his bed properly.

He tugs the covers over Wooyoung's small form, letting him rest.

As he reaches for the phone, he winces at how broken it is.

Reading San's message, Jongho feels anger bubbling in him.

The audacity of San to act as though nothing happened.

He fumes quietly, returning the broken phone to Wooyoung's bedside table.

He closes the door to Wooyoung's room and makes his way to the kitchen.

He repeats the words he'd read on the shattered screen, saying them quietly to himself.

'Hey, Wooyoungie, I'm hungry, let's go grab a bite! My treat, it's a date!'

+

San is panicking.

Wooyoung hasn't responded to him yet.

'Did he…?' San wonders as he recalls the previous night.

His eyes widen, hands covering his mouth to prevent Hongjoong and Seonghwa from hearing his shrieking.

'Why did I think he wasn't going to find out?' 

San feels disgusted with himself.

He feels so utterly disappointed and angry at himself.

'I'm dating Wooyoung for fucks sake!'

He was dating Wooyoung and he'd just cheated on him.

San slumps down onto his floor, not caring if Seonghwa and Hongjoong heard him.

'I just fuckin cheated on my boyfriend, and I'm acting as though that wasn't a big deal!'

'How fuckin shameless do I have to be to send him a text to go on a date?' San screams in his head.

'How fuckin disgusting do I have to be to cheat on Wooyoung with his best fuckin friend?'

San momentarily calms at thinking about Yeosang.

But then he's yanking his hairs at having done so, regretting letting himself fall for the two.

'Why couldn't I have just been patient? Why the fuck did I have to go up to Yeosang and fall in love with him!?' San clamps his hands over his mouth.

Even though he didn't say it aloud, the fact that he even thinks it, angers San.

'Who am I to think I can love Yeosang, when I couldn't even do it with Wooyoung.'

He lets his anguish overtake him, as he realizes he never fell in love with Wooyoung.

'What a fuckin joke I am, being in a relationship while I fall in love with someone else!'

San doesn't quiet his thrashing.

Seonghwa and Hongjoong knock on his door, he doesn't hear it, too busy in his head about being with Wooyoung and loving Yeosang.

He feels himself being wrapped up in Seonghwa's arms, patted on the back by Hongjoong, but San knows he's the last person that needs comfort.

He wants to so badly push them both away, let him wallow in shame, but he doesn't.

He let's Hongjoong and Seonghwa comfort him with words of 'we knew it was gonna happen', 'I should've warned you sooner', and 'we're sorry we didn't tell you Wooyoung likes Yeosang.'

San wants to correct them, he so badly wants to tell them that Wooyoung only sees him as a best friend.

Wants to tell them that it's him who loves Yeosang, but he can't, he wants to be selfish and keep an image of himself as the one who was heartbroken in their head.

He doesn't want them to leave him just yet.

…

‘Maybe one day…’

Wooyoung thinks, ‘the truth will unfold, and San will know.”

He lets go of San’s hand, muttering a low farewell, as he walks opposite of him, heading to his apartment.

‘Perhaps I’ll tell him I love him…'

His feet crunch the fallen leaves.

‘Or…

I can just keep it to myself…’

Wooyoung finishes, walking faster as though to outrun his thoughts.

He leaves San behind, who still gazes at Yeosang’s retreating figure, despite him leaving their sight not too long ago.

‘Yeah, maybe it is better if I keep it to myself.’

…

_Yeosang arrives home, the apartment empty with Yunho and Mingi out._

_He’s all alone in his room, crying at having San use him for his body._

No one comes to comfort him.

_He’s left alone to console himself._

_He can’t help but want San or even Wooyoung to be there and hold him._

_His tears pool on his pillow, the fact of being alone sinking into him._

This was his reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was the ending?
> 
> I'd like to once again thank anyone who read this fic, and especially if you've completed reading it! I hope my attempt at angst and feelings wasn't too cringey (lol). I'm curious though, did Wooyoung, San, or Yeosang have any fault in the way their relationships with one another progressed?
> 
> And also, how were the side relationships? I loved writing them cause they were so cute!
> 
> On that note, thanks again for reading, I hope I created something that at least got someone's feelings tugged!


	2. Linear Narrative

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains the same exact content on the previous chapter, except it's linearly told.
> 
> I figured in case anyone wanted to, they can read it chronologically so the events aren't as confusing.
> 
> Each part corresponds to a certain date, and if more than one scene happened on that day, then there's a '+' to connect them.
> 
> Enjoy reading!

**PART ONE**

(1 year ago, a week before Yeosang’s birthday)

-

Looking over at Yeosang, Wooyoung finds him gazing at San who squeaks as he laughs out loud at what Mingi has said.

Curious, Wooyoung pokes Yeosang in the ribs, hard.

Startled Yeosang grabs his hand, sending a glare his way, Wooyoung meets him with a goofy smile.

Immediately Wooyoung changes his expression, seeing as he caught Yeosang's attention, and looks at San and then back at Yeosang, multiple times.

He finishes his eye movements with a lifted eyebrow and widened eyes.

Yeosang only stares at him with confusion, his brows furrowing.

Wooyoung rolls his eyes at having to point everything out.

He points at San, and then points back at Yeosang, making a heart with two fingers.

At finally understanding (Wooyoung sighs a breath of relief), Yeosang lets go of his hand.

He looks around them, and slightly nods, his cheeks blushing.

Wooyoung smugly smiles at having figured him out.

Yeosang slaps his arm lightly, bringing his finger to his lips, telling him to keep quiet.

Wooyoung nods, but his curiosity gets the better of him.

"Since when?" He whispers to Yeosang, who looks at him sternly in warning.

"I'll tell you later." 

Not liking that answer, Wooyoung grabs Yeosang's hand and pulls him to stand up.

Yeosang only follows his lead, confused at what Wooyoung's doing.

Wooyoung begins walking to Yeosang's room, smiling at Yunho who's perched at one of the dining table's chairs. 

Once inside his room, Wooyoung leans on the door to keep it closed, looking at Yeosang who sits on his bed.

"Spill."

Yeosang looks at him with a conflicted expression, weighing his chances to escape his room, deciding it'd be best if he doesn't challenge Wooyoung.

"Fine, I think I might have a crush on San."

Scoffing Wooyoung says, "I already know that, you can't hide for shit. I want to know for how long."

Rubbing his temples, Yeosang mentally prepares himself for Wooyoung's pestering ways.

"How long." Wooyoung says it demandingly, watching Yeosang who falls back onto his bed, closing his eyes, as though it'd prevent Wooyoung from getting an answer out of him.

Wooyoung pushes himself off the door, approaching the foot of Yeosang's bed, and leaning directly over his best friend's face.

"How long." 

Yeosang's eyes fling open at hearing the too close voice, meeting face-to-face with Wooyoung.

His hands immediately push him away, "What the fuck Wooyoung?"

Wooyoung laughs out his high-pitched laughter, "I'm telling you, how long have you been crushing on San for?"

Huffing out of exasperation, Yesang whispers out, "Two."

"What?"

"Two."

'Two,' Wooyoung thinks to himself, wondering what in the hell Yeosang's referring to.

"As in weeks?"

Wooyoung sees Yeosang shake his head, even more confused at what he means.

"Two...years."

It's silent as Wooyoung processes the information.

Yeosang's ears turn red, tensing as he waits for Wooyoung's reaction.

"2 YEARS?!"

Yeosang nods.

"WHAT THE FUCK? TWO WHOLE FUCKIN YEARS AND YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING?"

Yeosang suddenly realizing the rise in volume, responds with, "Wooyoung these walls aren't fuckin soundproof, shut up!"

Wooyoung covers his mouth at that, whispering, "Okay, okay...but 2 years? Holy fuck Yeosang, how did you manage for so long? You poor soul."

Yeosang only shrugs his shoulders, watching as Wooyoung steps closer and reaches out to pet his hair.

Yeosang slaps his hand away, slightly laughing at Wooyoung's overdramatic show of pain.

"Whatever, I don't need you to tell me that it's been a while. I know that...it's just that…" Yeosang looks at the floor in deep thought.

"What? What is it?" Wooyoung looks at him questioningly, wanting as many answers as he can get 

"Well I don't know what to do." Yeosang finishes, looking at Wooyoung who smiles at having heard that.

"Yeosang, it's basic math. You just have to flirt a bit here and there, and BAM! You get together. Simple as that." Wooyoung finishes with a thumbs up.

Yeosang wants to roll his eyes, but finds he might as well go along with Wooyoung so he stops pestering him.

"Yeah, I'll try that then." He nods with a smile at Wooyoung, who returns it.

With a loud clap, Wooyoung walks backwards to the door.

"Well, looks like my job is done. Hit me up if you need any more relationship advice, I'll be happy to help you, as the resident relationship guru." Wooyoung points at himself with a smirk, confidently looking at Yeosang.

Yeosang scoffs, reaching for one of his pillows, throwing it at Wooyoung's face.

"Yeah right, you only wanted the gossip," Yeosang says incredulously, adding on a, "relationship guru my ass."

Wooyoung has the thrown pillow in his hands, throwing it back at Yeosang, opening the door to step out, and finalizing it with a, "I'm serious though, tell me everything between you and San. And I mean everything!"

Wooyoung sends a wink Yeosang's way, abruptly closing the door as Yeosang throws another pillow, missing its target and thumping against the floor.

Yeosang is left alone, a slight smile on his face because of Wooyoung and his antics.

He finds his smile turning into a frown as he thinks back to what he'd heard between Yunho and San the other day.

_"San you should go for it. I mean what do you have to lose?" Yunho questions, wanting San to act on his emotions._

_"I know Yunho...but what if he just straight up rejects me and laughs in my face?" San asks slightly worried._

_"Sannie, you know Wooyoung wouldn't do that. If he does end up rejecting you, he isn't heartless enough to laugh in your face." Yunho says warmly._

_"You're right...but…"_

_"No but's! Just go for it, if he doesn't date you, well at least you got your confirmation and you can move on. If he does date you, then it's a win for you. Either way, if you don't do something about it, you'll never know and only keep thinking up possibilities."_

_"You're right, thank you Yunho."_

_Clothes rustle, and after a moment, the door opens._

_"Thank you again Yunho! I'll get going now!"_

_"Alright Sannie, I'll see you tomorrow!"_

_The door shuts, and Yeosang is left saddened in his room._

_Of course San likes Wooyoung._

Shaking his head to rid himself of the memory, Yeosang replays his current predicament.

With his crush liking his best friend, it was best if he gave up, lest he wants to ruin his friendship with Wooyoung.

After all they've known each other for 5 years now, and counting, it'd be futile to let his pathetic feelings ruin their close relationship.

Exasperated, Yeosang mentally challenges himself.

'If I can't further my relationship with San, or even date him after a year, then I'll give up. Easy as that.'

Yeosang smiles to himself, he wanted to at least try once more before he fully gave up. 'What better way to do it by giving himself a year?'

After all, Wooyoung doesn't seem to like or even notice San's feelings. 

During the year he'd given himself, maybe San can grow to like him instead, since Wooyoung did sleep around, and didn't at all seem to want to be in a relationship.

Satisfied by his result, Yeosang stays in his room, scrolling on his phone until the moon peeks from his window.

That night, Yeosang dreams of a big green hill.

On top of it, he sees a lone figure standing and surveying the surroundings.

The figure appears to be looking at someone, the direction unclear with the fuzziness of his sight.

However, despite it, Yeosang calls the figure with familiarity.

"San!" he shouts, the figure appearing to move, but his mind goes blank right before he can catch his movements.

…

**PART TWO**

(1 year ago, Yeosang’s birthday party)

-

San is drunk. His head is pounding and his vision is blurry.

The music booms in his ears, the countless bodies bump into him as he walks past.

Splaying his hands against the wall for guidance, he trails his way to the kitchen where he knows Yunho is with the drinks.

Someone roughly pushes past him. He's propelled forward, tripping on the carpet.

Someone grasps his arm.

A sense of dread begins to fill his stomach. San regains his balance and turns to face the perpetrator. 

Instead of the asshole he'd imagined in his head, he finds himself looking at Yeosang, who's clutching his arm so that he doesn't fall, surveying San's surroundings to find the asshole who had pushed him.

San's tensed body relaxes, watching Yeosang as he looks around and doesn't find who he's looking for.

His stomach, although not filled with a sense of dread, begins to churn.

San feels like he might hurl.

Bringing his hand to tap on Yeosang's shoulder, he uses his other hand to cover his mouth.

Yeosang looks back at him, widening his eyes at seeing San's slightly green face.

Grabbing his hand, Yeosang leads San to the nearest bathroom, maneuvering through the crowds of people.

Upon reaching for the doorknob, and finding it locked, Yeosang mentally curses himself, and opts to take San to his own private bathroom.

Reaching into his pocket and pulling out his key, Yeosang unlocks his door, forgetting to close it as he rushes San into the bathroom.

San feels as though he might puke any time now, relieved as he watches the toilet bowl come into view.

Yeosang rushes out, leaving San to spew out his contents, while he goes to fetch a glass of water for him.

Although feeling disgusting, San's stomach is relieved.

He flushes the toilet, and attempts to stand up.

Pouting since his legs feel wobbly, and as though they might give out any moment now, San picks himself up and leans against the sink.

He sees Yeosang come into the bathroom through the mirror's reflection.

"Can I borrow some mouthwash?" Asks San making eye contact with Yeosang, who nods and opens the cabinet for him.

Gurgling the mouthwash in his mouth, then spitting it out, San tries to walk out of the bathroom.

Again, his knees wobble, until he feels an arm around his waist and another on his hand.

Together, Yeosang and San make their way to his bed.

San sits on the mattress, Yeosang offering him a glass of water, which he eagerly gulps down.

After swallowing the last drop of water, Yeosang speaks up, "Are you okay now?"

San nods, "I am, thank you very much." He looks up to see Yeosang still has a worried expression.

"It's no problem, but are you sure you're okay?"

San places the empty glass on his bedside table, "Yes."

With that, San pushes himself up, deciding to leave the quiet room.

Yeosang interrupts his movements, "If you want, you can lay here for a while. You know, to sleep off your drunkenness for a bit." 

"Oh, thank you but I don't want to cause you any more trouble." San says as he fully stands up.

"Yeah, okay, only if you're sure." Yeosang says as he watches San try to move by himself.

"Yeah, I was going to head home anyways, thank you for stopping me from face planting." 

With a soft laugh, Yeosang responds, "No problem, but let me walk you out at the very least."

To cease his constant worrying, San nods, Yeosang wrapping his arm around his waist, while San has it around his shoulders.

They make their way into the hall, the party still loud as ever.

As the pair approach the front door, Wooyoung makes his way to them, a worried expression on his face.

Yeosang feels as San removes his arm from around him, standing by himself, straightening his clothes a bit.

"Hey, did something happen?" Asks Wooyoung, who previously saw San leaning on Yeosang.

"Oh he-"

"I'm going home," San cuts Yeosang off before he can finish.

"Oh really? Let me go with you, I was gonna head home anyways." Replies Wooyoung not noticing the way San looks at him with a glint in his eyes.

Yeosang watching the interaction slightly shrinks into himself, 'I can always try next time' he thinks as San pulls away from his side.

He watches the pair leave through the door, waving to them as he goes back into his own party.

  
  


+

Wooyoung doesn't know how he ended up here. 

One second he's happily chatting with San, and the next he's pushing San against the wall as he attacks his lips.

Wooyoung can't say for sure what spurred these actions, but maybe the fact San invited him inside, and the way both had shamelessly flirted, got him to this point. 

That is, San's bedroom.

He continues his previous actions of undressing San and himself.

Letting San's body intoxicate him.

There's a voice in his head that tells him he shouldn't be doing this. It tells him with a distant voice that he's sleeping with Yeosang's crush.

He ignores it.

Instead, Wooyoung drowns himself in San's pants and moans.

The constant slapping of skin on skin echoes around the room, it spills outside the bedroom door.

The night slips away, both San and Wooyoung continue to get lost in each other.

Wooyoung temporarily forgets about the consequences.

The only thing both care about is reaching their high point.

Their intimacy being their priority.

…

**PART THREE**

(1 year ago, day after Yeosang’s birthday party)

-

San wakes up in bed with a headache and a warm body next to him.

Said body is sleeping, and looking up at the serene face, San realizes it's Wooyoung.

With slight surprise, San trails his way down his body, taking note of the various marks and scratches on his skin that are on full display, not covered by the blanket.

Wondering if he looks as mauled as Wooyoung does, San takes a chance to peek at his own skin, quickly looking away after catching sight of littered bruises.

Before he panics at finally remembering the night before, San clamps his hand over his mouth.

He wants to cry at it all happening so fast, but simultaneously wants to shout in happiness that it all happened so fast.

Just as he calms his emotions and settles on his current reality, he feels Wooyoung shift next to him.

Yawning, and stretching out his arms, Wooyoung rubs his eyes as he checks his surroundings.

He feels someone looking at him as he sits up, and finds San sitting next to him, hand covering his mouth, eyes wide open.

Wooyoung smirks at him, finding San's surprised expression adorable.

"Hey sleepyhead, rest well last night?" Wooyoung asks with a wink.

San only gapes at Wooyoung, not understanding how he could be so collected despite them sleeping together.

"Are you still braindead?" Wooyoung teases, reaching over to close San's mouth.

It's then that San speaks up.

"I LIKE YOU!" San blurts out, clearly his brain not catching up with what he just said.

A moment of silence befalls the two, San realizes what he'd just shouted and again, clamps his hand over his mouth, cursing inwardly to himself at blurting it out with no warning whatsoever.

Wooyoung on the other hand, matches San's earlier expression, mouth slightly open, and eyes wide in surprise at the abruptness.

San knows he's majorly fucked up now, there's no reason to retract his feelings since they were, very much, true.

Just as he's on the verge of hyperventilating, Wooyoung speaks up.

"San...did you just...say you liked me?" Wooyoung asks carefully, his tone sounding like he was talking to a scared animal, which wasn't very far from the truth.

San can only nod, too shocked at his actions, humiliated at having blurted out his feelings.

"Oh...well if it makes you feel any better, I like you too." Wooyoung says in a friendly tone, watching as San vehemently shakes his head.

"No? No what?" Asks Wooyoung, clearly confused with San's actions.

"I like you...as more than a friend." San finally says, blushing deeply at confessing to Wooyoung, especially since all his attention was on him.

Again, silence engulfs the two.

Not bearing it, San comes out with the full truth, wanting to get over the situation, not caring if he was rejected or accepted, just needing an answer to end the unbearable silence.

"I like you, and I want to date you." San whispers, head hanging low as he waits for the rejection followed by Wooyoung's disgusted face.

Instead, he feels a hand on his, making him open his eyes and see Wooyoung with the biggest smile on his face.

"Okay, sure we can do that, let's date."

San gapes at how easily he accepted.

He almost thinks he's playing a cruel joke on him, waiting for the 'but' to end his statement.

It never comes.

Wooyoung just brings San to his chest, and reassures him that he wants to date him.

San silently cries with tears of happiness, realizing all his doubts amounted to nothing when Wooyoung accepted him like that.

San stays in Wooyoung's arms, until he passes his moment of embarrassment and is back to the same teasing person he always is.

Wooyoung notices the change in his features, warm eyes and bright smiles all directed at him, as he's led out of the bedroom by San (after putting on their clothes) to eat breakfast.

(Perhaps he'd been too caught up in the moment, that Wooyoung didn't fully process what it meant to date San. From looking at the way San was distressed, maybe he wanted to dissolve his fears, instead of actually accepting because he felt the same way back. It's not until later that he thinks about Yeosang.)

+

The morning craze in the city amounted to countless people rushing towards their work places, multiple cars crowding the streets, and surprisingly, a lone figure who walked with a pump in his step, whistling out in glee.

It's Wooyoung who seems to be so happy, after having left San's apartment.

He thinks about his slightly blushing face, and the shyness he showed him, slightly laughing to himself at the cuteness of it all.

He feels on cloud nine, happy he's now dating San, never realizing how bubbly he would feel being in a relationship.

His smile lasts until he thinks about telling Yeosang of such a step in his private life.

His face immediately twists into one of slight panic, realizing what he's just done to Yeosang.

'Oh fuck, I just slept with his crush!'

His head reasons it was bound to happen, it wouldn't surprise anyone if they had.

'But this is Yeosang's crush.'

Yet again, being reminded of the fact in big bold letters, he slept with his best friend's crush.

Worrying about what he'd have to do, Wooyoung's brain supplies him with a different thought.

'But what if he supports me?'

Immediately, Wooyoung rids himself of that question, considering a different outcome.

'No, he wouldn't support me, he'd for sure avoid me and stop being my best friend.'

Wooyoung thinks up the possibility of telling Yeosang about his new relationship with San. The only thing he can conjure up, are eyes of pain from having his trust broken by Wooyoung.

'No, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if Yeosang felt like that whenever he looked at me.'

It's like a lightbulb lights up in his brain.

'But Yeosang would never be heartbroken, if he didn't know in the first place…right?'

Wooyoung rushes to pull his phone out, opening up San's contact to send him a text.

'All I have to do is keep my relationship with San a secret. Then Yeosang will never know, and he won't see me as the best friend who betrayed him.'

Wooyoung smiles slightly at that, continuing to walk, after realizing he'd stopped walking while thinking about Yeosang.

He ignores the questioning looks from people sitting outside of the restaurants, and sends his typed message to San, putting his phone back in his pocket upon wondering why he decided to date San. 

'What were my motives?' Wooyoung asks himself, knowing he doesn't commit to relationships, perfectly fine with taking a faceless nobody home.

'Is San a faceless nobody?'

Wooyoung cuts that train of thought, replying to himself.

'Of course not! He's one of my close friends.'

Finding himself more confused than before, Wooyoung seats himself at a bench in the park.

He reflects on why he accepted San's proposal to date him, even though he'd never noticed him in that way.

'Was it for his body?'

Wooyoung gets angry at himself, "Of course not!'

He feels his phone vibrate from a notification, figuring it might be San responding to him.

'Then why did I date him?'

Wooyoung can't blame the alcohol, he was sober when he accepted.

'Was it…?' Wooyoung wants to stop thinking about that. He so badly wants to prevent himself from venturing there, but he can't help it.

'Maybe Yeosang's constant talking about him made me see him in a different light?'

Wooyoung feels bad thinking about that, knowing he's blaming Yeosang for something he didn't purposely do.

It made sense though, Wooyoung didn't have to go up to them when he saw San being supported by Yeosang yesterday.

But, he did.

He even offered to walk home together, and eventually they'd ended up inside San's apartment.

Wooyoung doesn't know whether to feel guilt at liking Yeosang's crush as well, or happy that he's not dating San for his body.

He takes a chance to look at San's reply, seeing the virtual yellow 'thumbs-up'.

Wooyoung wants to feel relief, he wants to be glad that San agrees with keeping their relationship a secret.

It's for the best after all.

But a selfish part of him wants to date him openly, despite the consequences.

He thinks back to Yeosang, and immediately he's swayed back to keeping it a secret.

'It's better to lie to Yeosang.'

It scares Wooyoung not knowing the reaction Yeosang would give him, if he did tell him. 

He figured a little lie wouldn't hurt their friendship.

After all, having Yeosang know of his betrayal was worse than lying to him.

+

San didn't expect the message from Wooyoung a few minutes after he'd left his apartment.

It read, 'Let's keep our relationship a secret.'

Waiting for an explanation to the sudden request, San figures after a few moments, that he wasn't getting one.

He sends a thumbs up, feeling confused and slightly hurt.

'Why keep their relationship a secret?'

It's after a moment of silence that San guesses Wooyoung's actions.

'Maybe Wooyoung isn't ready?'

He did after all, mention not being in relationships.

'Maybe he's just nervous?' San thinks, figuring Wooyoung just wanted time to become comfortable with the fact that he's dating someone now.

He laughs to himself, clutching a nearby pillow to his chest.

'Of course Wooyoung would be hesitant!'

Falling back onto his bed, San smiles to himself.

He's fine with Wooyoung setting the pace.

As long as he was fine with dating San.

(Maybe San should've questioned him further, but he didn't. Too busy letting the butterflies in his stomach affect him.)

…

**PART FOUR**

(1 year ago, Fall)

-

They're at Wooyoung's apartment.

After having declined San's offer to go to the carnival, San and Wooyoung sit at his dining table.

It's not that Wooyoung didn't want to go, cause damn does he like spending time with his boyfriend, but he wanted to show him something he'd been working on.

San sits opposite of him, raising a spoon to his lips. 

As he gulps it down, Wooyoung carefully observes his features, wanting to see if there's any change. 

He realizes he's holding his breath as he waits for San's judgement.

"This is...this…" says San as he looks at the bowl in front of him, seemingly in deep thought.

"Yes? It's?" Worries Wooyoung, leaning in his seat, waiting for San's reaction.

"This is really good babe! Are you sure you didn't order it or something?" Asks San playfully, as he scoops another mouthful of Wooyoung's dish.

Playing along, Wooyoung hums slightly, faking to be deep in thought.

With a scoff, San pushes away his bowl, "I knew it! There's no way you can cook this well!"

With a scandalized expression, Wooyoung gestures to himself, "For your information, I very much did make it. Can't help but be boyfriend material." Says Wooyoung smuggly.

Rolling his eyes, San smiles and continues eating.

At times like these, San thinks about his choice in dating Wooyoung.

He's very happy, in fact, these moments were the ones that reminded him why he began to like him in the first place.

But sometimes, San felt it wasn't enough.

He was already an affectionate person to begin with, but he had to tone it down to accommodate Wooyoung's decision.

At home, San could walk up to Wooyoung and kiss him as much as he wanted to, flirt with him or be really touchy with him.

But in public, he couldn't act on those urges.

Sometimes Wooyoung would dress really nicely, and San had to gulp down the urge to bring Wooyoung into a kiss.

He was always left admiring his looks, or if daring, he would kiss him on the cheek, but never more.

It felt restricting, but San couldn't be more glad.

Despite having to stop himself, he was glad to show Wooyoung he didn't only want him physically.

He felt it showed Wooyoung how he appreciated him for himself, not for his body.

Giddy at the thought, San thinks he could end up loving Wooyoung.

'Maybe not now, it'd be too soon. But maybe along the way…?' San thinks, as he finishes his bowl.

Just as he begins to stand up, Wooyoung interrupts him, "Don't worry about it Sannie, I got it."

Wooyoung stands up and takes his own bowl, reaching out for San's and walking to the kitchen.

San looks after him, shouting a quick "thanks!", and smiling to himself.

'Yeah, I can grow to love him.'

...

**PART FIVE**

(8 months ago, Christmas)

-

"Honestly with the way you were eyeing him Seonghwa, I'd have thought he was a meal." Says Mingi, with a sly smirk looking at Seonghwa who eyes the person sitting at another table.

Turning bright red, Seonghwa quickly scolds him. "Keep your tone down, I don't want him to hear the string of stupidity flying out of your mouth."

"Oh please, as if I could scare your boyfriend away, when you're giving him that look."

A quick yelp, and Mingi is being attacked by Seonghwa who repeatedly tells him to "shut up", poking the hell out of his abdominals.

It wouldn't surprise the rest of them if his abs were fully defined after their bickering.

Looking away from Mingi and Seonghwa, Yunho sighs, sipping from his holiday coffee cup, turning to make conversation with the other 3 on his left.

The cold season brought the group to a coffee shop. Each had their respective cups of coffee or hot chocolate. The weather outside being too cold, all with their multiple coats and scarves placed aside as they relished the warmth within the shop.

All 6 of them (Seonghwa, Mingi, Yunho, Yeosang, San, and Wooyoung) had decided to meet up for Christmas, before each left to celebrate the rest of the holidays at home.

Yunho smiles as he glances to the two sitting across from each other, by the window.

Both San and Wooyoung look happy as they chat about whatever comes to their unpredictable minds. 

'Maybe San will finally act on his crush?' Thinks Yunho when remembering the talk he had with San a while back.

Looking away from the immersed pair, Yunho looks at Yeosang who sits across from him, who eyes his beverage with a slight blush. 

'Maybe it's from the warmth?' Yunho guesses, the shop was kind of stuffy with all their warm clothes on.

Pushing his thoughts aside, Yunho almost wants to ask Yeosang if he wants to switch places. The poor thing was squished between Wooyoung and Mingi, who both never stayed still, 'Maybe that's why he was blushing so?' 

Yunho rolls his eyes as he recalls the slight argument that occurred a few minutes ago, which was the reason for their seating arrangements.

Wooyoung with his VERY appreciated commentary had said Mingi and Yunho 'flirted too much' and therefore he didn't want them placed next to or across from each other, lest they want him to barf.

Everyone but Mingi and Yunho agreed, apparently they were annoyingly lovey-dovey. ('Honestly what did they expect?' Yunho thinks to himself as him and Mingi were indeed DATING.)

Hence why Seonghwa was labeled the 'poor soul' (courtesy of Wooyoung) who was 'sacrificed' (added on by San) to sit next to Yunho and across from Mingi.

Thus, Yunho was placed between San and Seonghwa, with Yeosang across from him, only one seemingly unbothered by the couple (probably because he dealt with it everyday at their shared apartment).

Yunho focuses his thoughts back on Yeosang, who was the only one sitting peacefully, listening to the conversations around him.

Yunho taps on the table in front of Yeosang's cup, his attempt at getting his attention.

Yeosang looks up, nodding at him, at which Yunho responds with a smile, receiving one back.

Clearing his throat, Yunho speaks up about what Yeosang had said a couple days ago.

"Yeosang you know how you said you were thinking of moving out?" Yunho is met with a nod, "Well, I just wanted to ask if it had anything to do with Mingi and I? Like, did it come to mind because we were annoying you? Were we too much of a bother?"

Yeosang quickly shakes his head, "Oh no! It wasn't like that at all. I just wanted a bit more space, since you know, I've always lived with someone else."

"Really? Thank goodness, I was scared you were forcing yourself out of there because of us." Yunho sighs with a bit of relief.

"No, I just wanted a bit more...privacy? Like I'm fine with my own room, but sometimes I want more than just that space."

Yunho nods along, completely understanding Yeosang, especially since he'd similarly felt that way before he got with Mingi.

"Anyways, I have been giving it a bit of thought, but I'm not quite sure yet. I just wanted to let you know if I ever did make a final decision." Yeosang laughs behind his sleeve at Yunho's expression, both knowing how dramatic he can get.

Laughing along Yunho reaches over and pats Yeosang's hand, "Well I'm glad. I thought it might've had something to do with the ruckus Mingi and I made."

Wooyoung perks up at that, having heard their conversation, and immediately starts laughing.

"No way? Poor Yeosang, you've officially ruined him forever." Snickers Wooyoung, who pats Yeosang's shoulder in mock sympathy.

Yeosang shakes with laughter, Yunho slightly glares at Wooyoung and then at Yeosang who wipes a nonexistent tear from his eye. 

"No," Yeosang laughs, "It wasn't that." Yeosang calms his laughter, "Just a necessary change in my life since we see each other every day."

Yunho smiles at him and signals an 'ok', turning his attention to Wooyoung who watched the rest of their exchange with a grimace.

"Yeosang, if I had known, I would've invited you over much more often, who knows what you went through."

"Oh shut up Wooyoung, as if you don't bring just about anyone into your apartment." Says Yunho teasingly.

San, who had stopped conversing with Wooyoung because he butted into Yunho and Yeosang's conversation, spits out his coffee, having a coughing fit at Yunho's words.

"Oh please as if I have time for that! I've been too busy with work to care about that." 

Yunho side eyes him, "Sure, whatever you say."

Rolling his eyes, Wooyoung looks back at San who has calmed down from his coughing fit.

After regaining his composure, San takes the moment to look around the shop, since he'd been so immersed in conversation with Wooyoung that he didn't pay attention to his surroundings.

Suddenly, San's eyes widen and he's shouting, "Hongjoong? What are you doing here?"

At being called, Hongjoong looks up from his writing, catching sight of San and waving back at him.

(Seonghwa emits a slight 'eep' which has Mingi bursting out in laughter.)

San makes to get out of his seat, wanting to know why his apartment buddy wasn't with his family to spend the holidays with.

After passing by Yunho and Seonghwa San heads over to Hongjoong, leaving the 5 of them with varying expressions on their faces.

Yunho notes the way Wooyoung seems unaffected, as though to have seen him before.

Next to him, Yunho notes the way Yeosang looks slightly cautious, with slight curiosity in his eyes. (Which is the same expression Yunho has on his face, except without the cautiousness.)

His boyfriend, Mingi, who sits next to Yeosang, continues to laugh at the red-faced Seonghwa sitting next to Yunho.

Seonghwa for his part, doesn't say anything to prevent any teasing from Mingi.

After all, Hongjoong was the person Seonghwa had been eyeing since they arrived.

The 5 of them resume their conversations, Mingi continues teasing Seonghwa. Yunho, Wooyoung and Yeosang talk about New Years, and having a gettogether (albeit a little distractedly on Yeosang's part).

A couple minutes pass, and San's making his way back to their table, Hongjoong in tow.

Yunho feels Seonghwa shift next to him, focusing his attention to look outside the window instead of the incoming pair. 

(Mingi snickers quietly.)

"Hey guys, meet my short apartment buddy, Hongjoong." Introduces San, who gestures at the smaller man next to him.

Rolling his eyes at the diss, Hongjoong continues, "Yep, that's me, the shorty."

San laughs at him.

"Also, rude! You didn't even notice when I walked in and now you wanna act as though we're super good friends?" Hongjoong says with mock offense, referring to San.

"For your information, you didn't either!" San retorts. "You were too busy writing who knows what, in that diary of yours."

San sticks out his tongue at Hongjoong, who punches him on the arm.

"Once again, it isn't a diary, it's my journal for inspiration. You really need to learn more terms, maybe I'll hook you up with an address to a library." Replies Hongjoong with a slight laugh.

San rolls his eyes, and smiles despite the insult, "Anyways, that's Yunho, Seonghwa, you already know Wooyoung, that's Yeosang, and this is Mingi." San points to each as he says their names.

Hongjoong looks at all their faces, greeting them with a smile, except the person named Seonghwa who doesn't look at him.

"I'm glad I finally got to meet you all." Hongjoong lingers on Wooyoung. "As much as I would love to continue dissing San, I kind of have to go. Duty calls, and unless I wanna be scolded again, I better go." 

Hongjoong nods his head at each of them, waving goodbye as he turns to leave. 

He feels all eyes on his back as he makes his way to the door.

At the corner of his eye, he sees shining eyes looking at him, apparently finally having turned his head after seeing him leave.

With the chime of the door's bell, Hongjoong continues his path through the cold, leaving the other 6 to watch him maneuver his way out.

San turns his attention away from Hongjoong, and sees Seonghwa's longing look.

"What's up with you?"

Flustered, Seonghwa looks away "N-Nothing."

Across from him, Mingi covers his face with his hand, attempting to hide his laughter at Seonghwa's poor pining.

San brushes it off in favor of sitting back down.

Before he can however, Seonghwa stands up and interrupts his movements, "On second thought, I think I should finish packing my bag."

"Oh okay," Seonghwa adjusts his clothes and grabs his cup, "Well see you later," smiles San, watching Seonghwa bolt out the door, clearly in a rush. 

"You know, I think we should get going too, we were planning on making cookies today, wanna come with Yeosang?" Says Yunho, who stands up at the same time as Mingi.

Yeosang nods, and stands up as well.

All three slip on their thick coats and scarves, waving their goodbyes as they exit the shop, leaving San and Wooyoung behind.

"And then there were two." Mutters Wooyoung, looking up at San who remains standing in slight confusion, still processing the abruptness of everyone leaving, after Hongjoong had. 

"Wow, the power he holds," whispers San to himself, sitting down across from Wooyoung again.

Reeling himself back to their current predicament, San smirks and says teasingly, "Since it's the two of us again, does this fall into the date category?"

He takes a sip from his cup, Wooyoung responds, "Of course it does."

They simultaneously reach for each other's hands, intertwining them on the tabletop.

"You know, after how many times Hongjoong has seen you in our apartment, I'm surprised he didn't say anything just now." San says in deep thought, Wooyoung only shrugs at the comment.

"On second thought, he must've been preoccupied with a certain someone. Especially since I know damn well that he isn't working today." San snickers at the obviousness in Hongjoong's actions.

Wooyoung nods along with a smirk, "Honestly you'd have to be blind to not notice the way both snuck glances at each other." San hums in agreement.

"They're both whipped already, and they haven't even talked to each other yet."

"I doubt that…" San says trailing off, "In fact I think it's safe to say Seonghwa caught up to him after he practically ran out of here." Laughs San, finding it cute how both were pining.

Wooyoung laughs along, smiling at the possibility of their friends' relationship.

The pair settle in comfortable conversation, talking about their day and mentioning the random things that come to their head. 

About a half hour later, Wooyoung invites San to his apartment, since both weren't travelling for the holidays. 

Wooyoung considered himself lucky since he shares an apartment with Jongho (who's currently performing in different countries as part of his singing career), San's apartment not being an option because Hongjoong would likely be there.

Gathering their belongings and stepping outside into the relentless cold weather, San and Wooyoung walk hand in hand, their shivering forms cuddling closer the longer they were outside.

At his apartment door, Wooyoung unlocks his door, gesturing for San to enter first. 

Immediately San's face is blasted by the apartment's heater, he sighs at the warmth, taking off his shoes by the door and heading to sit on the couch.

Wooyoung follows soon after, inching closer to San, and reaching for him to cuddle.

The TV is turned on, the pair cuddle, occasional kisses here and there, comfortable silence between them.

While San enjoys the drama played on the screen, Wooyoung is hit with emotions at the serenity of their moment.

His eyes begin to tear up, and San coos at him, wiping away his tears and kissing his cheek, calming his tears by saying "It's just a show."

While Wooyoung accepts the comfort, his mind is far from the current show.

'How could he take this opportunity away from Yeosang? It should be him here cuddling San, while I'm out fucking around with a nobody.'

San rests his head on his chest, focused on the screen, after having comforted Wooyoung as best as he could.

Looking at his peaceful expression, Wooyoung's heart breaks a little , 'Am I allowed to be this happy?'

A sudden shriek from San jolts him, which San notices, cuddling into him and holding on, to prevent him from moving away.

Giving a cheeky smile to him, San turns back to the TV, noticing Wooyoung's expression changed from that of surprise to softness.

Wooyoung indulges in the emotions he feels with San, given the limited time.

Even though he knows he isn't doing the right thing by taking Yeosang's place, he couldn't help but feel a little bit selfish for wanting to feel such emotions.

Maybe he'll put a stop to keeping their relationship a secret, Yeosang deserved to know, as did the rest of their group.

They couldn't continue to be hidden, if Wooyoung's emotions progressed into something more than liking San.

…

**PART SIX**

(8 months ago, New Years)

-

Yeosang wants to start the new year off on a positive note.

After leaving the mini New Years party Seonghwa hosted, Yeosang felt it necessary to keep his goal in mind when creating his list of resolutions.

This was the year he'd tell San about his feelings.

Knowing he's getting way too ahead of himself, Yeosang shakes that thought away, choosing to start off with a small goal.

'What I have to do FIRST, is interact with him more, hangout with him without the group around.'

Yeosang thinks of his next step.

'Then I'd have to…flirt.'

He blushes, imagining himself flirting with San.

He stares at the empty wall, wondering how in the hell he was supposed to be brave enough to flirt.

'Maybe I can skip it?' He thinks, trying to think of another way for him to show San he's interested in him.

His jumbled thoughts leave him with even more questions.

'If I don't flirt with him, how long will it take before he notices me in that way?'

'That's assuming I can even hangout with him...what if there's no progress?'

'But what if there is? Would he be disgusted if his friend tried getting with him?'

'Or worse, what if he stops being my friend?'

Scared by his own thoughts, Yeosang shuts his eyes tight, hoping they'd go away.

'No, I can't have that.'

Yeosang opens his eyes, and bites his nails out of worry.

'I need to start slow, and wait for him to show if he's interested. If so, then the feelings are mutual, and he won't be disgusted if I take the next step.'

Mentally patting himself on the back, Yeosang reaches for his phone, and types out a text to send to Wooyoung about his plan.

'Would Wooyoung help me?'

Yeosang wonders, thinking back to what Wooyoung had said, about giving him all the details on his progress with San.

Making up his mind, Yeosang hits 'send', waiting to see Wooyoung's reaction.

At the sound of a notification, he reads Wooyoung's text.

'About damn time!'

Yeosang smiles, sighing and typing out another text to meet up later.

'If Wooyoung knows of my plan, maybe he won't notice San's feelings for him, or maybe reject him if he knows I like him?'

Yeosang feels relieved, like he's killed two birds with one stone.

Not only is he telling Wooyoung how he attempts to get closer to San, but maybe it'll even steer Wooyoung clear of San's feelings.

He feels hopeful that his plan now has somewhat of a success rate. Happy to have a friend like Wooyoung to support him.

Yeosang finds himself thinking of when the two had met.

Not only had they both been applying to the same job, but they both realized the wait for it was rather long.

Arriving together and leaving together, Yeosang saw Wooyoung as something more than a peer, he'd found himself a friend.

When they'd both walked away, the only thing Wooyoung had said to him was, 'They're missing out,' Yeosang keeping in mind that Wooyoung was the closest out of everyone to get the spot offered in the job.

It came naturally when Yeosang saw Wooyoung as his best friend, he'd basically sacrificed his job for him, despite how easily he could've gotten in.

It also came naturally, when Yeosang realized he could never let go of a great friend like Wooyoung.

He's glad that after all these years, he hadn't let him go, only furthering the trust between them.

Yeosang had no problem telling Wooyoung his futile feelings that seemed to get him nowhere.

He trusted him fully, he trusted him with his life.

Humming a soft tune to himself, Yeosang concludes his thoughts about his best friend. 

'He's the only one I trust. He isn't just simply my best friend, he's my soulmate…

He could never hurt me.'

+

Wooyoung begins to panic as soon as he replies to Yeosang's message. 

'Did he figure it out?'

'Were we that obvious?'

Calming his breathing, Wooyoung looks at his reply again.

'About damn time!'

He cringes at how supportive he sounds to Yeosang, considering the fact he just gave a 'go ahead' for Yeosang to pursue his boyfriend.

'How else was I supposed to respond?'

'Should I be discouraging Yeosang's attempts?'

He was going after Wooyoung's boyfriend, after all.

'But do I even deserve to call San my boyfriend?'

Chewing on his bottom lip, Wooyoung reads Yeosang's newly sent message to meet up later.

Yeosang finally acting on his emotions was only a matter of time, really.

Wooyoung just had to deal with sitting through Yeosang's attempts to get his boyfriend to notice him.

'Was that even right?'

Wooyoung didn't need to be reminded of the fact that he's dating Yeosang's crush of 2 years. 'But just because he's liked him for so long, was it right to just let him act on those feelings?'

His head tells him yes, he should.

Yeosang crushed on San first, and Wooyoung only noticed San in that way by how often Yeosang spoke about him. 

But his heart…

His heart was telling him no. 

He's _so_ close to officially revealing his relationship with San to the rest of the group.

Wooyoung doesn't know what to do.

_Does he continue being the supportive best friend, or does he continue being the good boyfriend?_

Caught up in his thoughts, Wooyoung fails to hear his bedroom door open and close.

It's not until San is on his lap that realizes he isn't alone.

Wooyoung looks up and is met with San's mischievous face.

Grabbing his head with both hands to keep it in place, Wooyoung is suddenly being smothered in kisses. The scrunched up expression he makes, has San laughing giddily.

Wooyoung puts a stop to San's actions, holding his shoulders in place as he looks at him, face-to-face.

San tilts his head, waiting for Wooyoung to do something, a little worried.

Wooyoung suddenly pulls San in by the back of his neck.

_Perhaps it was the warm body on top of him, thighs on either side of his hips, the pink pouty lips, dimples on his face._

Wooyoung kisses San fervently, who shivers at the control.

_Or maybe it was the little voice in his head that said this would be the last time._

San wraps his arms around his shoulders, leaning forward to push Wooyoung's back onto the bed.

It's during San's kisses that trail down his jawline, San's hands that trail to his pants, that Wooyoung makes up his mind.

_He cares about both San and Yeosang._

San sits up to rip off his clothes, unbuckling Wooyoung's pants to get them off.

_He cares about San's happiness._

San grinds onto Wooyoung, moaning brokenly, loving the friction between the both of them.

_He cares about Yeosang's happiness._

Wooyoung hears San reach his climax before he feels it.

_If their happiness meant he'd be out of the picture, Wooyoung would gladly sacrifice himself for them._

Wooyoung pants as he finishes coming down from his high.

_That's why it was up to him to make it right._

San wipes at his eyes. Wooyoung realizes he's been crying, his tears spilling onto his cheeks. 

_Yeosang would never have to know, and while San would be in an unfulfilling relationship, at least he'd get over it._

Wooyoung receives a sympathetic smile from San. He doesn't bother correcting him, letting him think his climax brought him to tears.

_After all, San would have Yeosang to make it better._

Laying on him, Wooyoung holds San as close as humanly possible.

_This was it. This was the final time he'd be this happy._

And if San notices Wooyoung's continuously flowing tears well after they've finished, he doesn't mention it.

_I'm glad I got to love you the way I did._

…

**PART SEVEN**

(5 months ago)

-

San notices the obvious reluctance in Wooyoung's actions, before he gives the 'okay' to let San advance on him.

It all started when they'd been hanging out with their friends for Valentine's day, both saying they were single to avoid suspicion. 

(Seonghwa lamely labeled their get together as a time for 'Single pringles to hang out.')

Perhaps San shouldn't have done so, given the circumstances, but he did it anyway, leaning over to kiss Wooyoung's cheek.

Even though it was a sight their friends were more than used to (both were rather affectionate people), Wooyoung pushed him away. 

San easily complied, but it didn't stop him from feeling slightly hurt.

Especially since Yunho and Mingi had held hands with each other, after crashing their party of 'single pringles.' 

He could only watch as his heart stung, looking at the loving couple and their display of affection. 

The rest of the time spent during the friendly date, San felt he was constantly fighting for Wooyoung's attention.

It saddened him to see Wooyoung ignoring him when he spoke, or when he seemed to only address the others when he had something to say.

It almost made San's blood boil, but he brushed it off thinking Wooyoung had missed interacting with the rest of them, since he and San had been spending a lot of time together recently.

It was only after they'd left together, walking hand in hand, that San forgot his feelings of anger and hurt, brushing them off as him overreacting.

It lasted until Yunho's birthday party.

Wooyoung and San arrived at the doorstep, hand in hand, but as soon as they stepped foot inside, Wooyoung had let go of it.

San wanted to protest, but felt like he'd sound like a clingy bitch, so he sucked it up, and walked right in, not caring if Wooyoung followed.

Apparently that action was a mistake, since Wooyoung had gone ahead and left him alone, leaving San to give Yunho his present by himself.

The rest of the party was a blur.

The only thing San remembers is pitching into the bickering between Yunho and Mingi, about how Yunho was an 'old man now'. 

There wasn't anything else he could recall, only feeling bored out of his mind as he stayed in one place, and occasionally a little annoyed at the couple, who were a direct opposite to him and Wooyoung.

They openly showed their affection, while San and Wooyoung weren't even close to each other.

It felt unfair, but San didn't blame them for his own relationship with his boyfriend, and the fact that it lacked affection.

Once again, he forgot those ill-feelings in favor of clutching onto Wooyoung's hand when they left the party.

Hours later after the moon had lit up the sky, both San and Wooyoung were splayed on top of the bedsheets.

Sweat glistening due to the moonlight, both catching their breaths, heavily panting at having finished. 

San liked these moments. It reassured him that Wooyoung still liked him. It was his confirmation that he still wanted him close, physically and emotionally.

However, lately it'd leave him with doubts. Apart from having sex, they didn't interact physically anyway else.

It got his mind reeling, perhaps Wooyoung only wanted him for his body?

It certainly explained the stop to kissing and touching in public.

Maybe he was overthinking, but San couldn't help but figure Wooyoung had started to become disinterested.

They'd only interact behind closed doors, and they still haven't mentioned being together, to their friends.

His logic only confirmed these suspicions.

Wooyoung might be regretting being with him. He can't bear being around San, he's only leading up to putting a stop to their relationship.

Despite finding an answer, San doesn't feel any better. Saddened that Wooyoung might be thinking to do that.

It was now or never.

'I have to tone down my actions even more. If Wooyoung knows I respect his wishes, maybe he'll reconsider staying with me.'

Although disheartened, San never voiced his suspicions or his emotions. He feared perhaps Wooyoung would think he wanted to leave their relationship, if he showed signs of unhappiness.

This distance that Wooyoung created and San followed, wasn't only noticed by the two, _he_ did as well.

…

**PART EIGHT**

(4 months ago, Seonghwa’s birthday)

-

As much as Yeosang loved his best friend (although he could be unbearably annoying), he couldn't help but feel an odd satisfaction at seeing him reject San whenever the group had a gettogether.

He'd first noticed at Yunho's party, where Wooyoung and San arrived together, but then Wooyoung ditched San in favor of talking to everyone else, a very peculiar sight considering they were typically attached at the hip.

Currently, the group had decided to head to Seonghwa's house for his birthday. After noticing the numerous glances Seonghwa and Hongjoong shot at each other, Yeosang was about ready to leave, until San arrived.

Feeling happy at seeing San, so that he wouldn't be alone with Yunho, Mingi, Seonghwa, and Hongjoong, Yeosang's smile quickly faded at seeing San's slightly saddened expression.

Yeosang couldn't put a finger to why he was so down turned, until 2 hours later, when Wooyoung finally showed up.

And again, it was peculiar to see Wooyoung quickly hug San and greet him, and then leave him alone for the rest of the party, as he instead teased Seonghwa about his age.

Yeosang wasn't sure if he was overexaggerating, but San's mood continuously dropped for the duration of the party.

Yeosang figured this was his chance to get closer to San, especially since Wooyoung out of the picture seemed to hurt San.

There was only one thing for him to do.

Yeosang had to take it upon himself to make San smile again.

…

**PART NINE**

(3 months ago)

-

It was a month later, in May, that Yeosang's chance came in the form of a carnival. 

He took it upon himself to invite San to said carnival, where he was met with a 'maybe'.

However, on the day of their outing, while Yeosang was lounged in his shared living room, San appeared on his doorstep, appropriately dressed to go to the carnival.

To say he was surprised was an understatement, in fact he stood at the door looking at San as though he'd conjured him up with his own imagination.

It took San pushing him inside to his room, to get him out of that shock.

Once Yeosang had found fitting clothes, they'd both made their way to the carnival, making small talk as they walked.

One of the topics that came up during their conversation ('What convinced you to come, San?') left a sour taste in Yeosang's mouth.

After all, San only agreed after he'd been ditched by Wooyoung.

Yeosang can't say for sure whether he was mad at Wooyoung for ditching San to hangout with Seonghwa, or to be jealous that he was a second choice.

Despite his thoughts, they were brushed aside when San pointed out one of the giant balloon animals that came into their view.

To say they had a blast, was another understatement, they only focused on the fun they had, both forgetting their worries with each other.

Just as Yeosang was about to call it a day (the countless rides had tired him out, and the food left his stomach full), San mentioned wanting to win a plushie for himself at one of the booths.

Yeosang immediately agreed, ('Maybe I can impress him by winning him the plushie?'), they walked to one of the booths.

Yeosang stepped up, San next to him with a bright, dimpled smile on his face.

Despite the confidence he'd started with, Yeosang was embarrassed recalling the amount of time and money he'd spent, without coming close to winning a plushie.

And although he wasn't rewarded with a stuffed animal, he figured the laughter bubbling from San's lips as he pathetically made his attempt, was reward enough.

He'd gladly make a fool of himself, if this was the reaction he was met with.

It took San a while before he could function, after calming down from laughter, to take pity on Yeosang and try the game out himself.

Unlike Yeosang's multiple attempts, San only took one, winning a plushie on his first try.

To say Yeosang was pouty the entire way home was a lie (he'd deny it to his grave!), he even made it a point to convince San that they both won it.

San, after bragging the whole way home, finally agreed to the compromise.

He reasoned that since Yeosang had failed so many times, he was able to figure out how the game worked.

And although it didn't make up for their time and Yeosang's money, it certainly made him feel better about not winning San the plushie on his own.

Thus, the plushie was won by both their efforts.

(And if San ever had someone ask him about how he won the plushie, Yeosang made him promise that he'd only tell that it was won at a carnival. After all, Yeosang didn't think he could handle the teasing it'd ensue if anyone knew the truth.)

Yeosang closes his eyes, exhaustion almost pulling him into a deep sleep.

His final thoughts before knocking out were that of San calling his plushie by a name that started with an 'S'.

Before he can recall the full name, he's lulled into sleep, tiredness taking over.

Yeosang dreams of a big green hill.

He sees San waving to him from the top, finally clear without the fuzziness of before.

…

**PART TEN**

(2 months ago, Yeosang’s birthday)

-

San stood in front of the door, gift in hand, as he knocked on the hardwood.

Today was Yeosang's birthday, and after much thinking, he decided to give Yeosang his gift before the party started. 

The door creaks open, and Mingi's surprised face comes into view, "Why are you here?" 

San rolls his eyes at the rude question, instead sidestepping him to go inside.

"I came to drop off my gift." Replies San, looking around the living room to see if Yeosang was there.

Just as Mingi was going to ask another question, Yeosang steps out of the hall, and peeks his head out, smiling at seeing San.

"Oh? What brings you here?" Yeosang asks with a slight smile on his face.

"Well, since I know both of you are shit at decorating, I thought maybe Yunho would like some help from a professional." 

Both Mingi and Yeosang groan out, remembering the disaster at Yunho's birthday party.

"That only happened once!" Exclaims Mingi, trying to save himself from the poor job both had done.

"Yeah, and it's a mistake I'll hold forever, over both of your heads." San laughs, enjoying their banter.

"Anyways, I better get going to pick up Yunho, who knows what kinds of unnecessary decorations he bought." Mingi says it lovingly, despite the slight annoyance in his tone.

Rushing out the door, keys in hand, San and Yeosang are left alone as soon as the door shuts.

"Would you like some water San?" Yeosang asks, breaking the silence.

"I'm good, thank you. Actually can we go to your room?" San questions, wanting to be in a more private room, despite the fact that they were the only ones there.

"Sure." Nods Yeosang, smile on his face as he turns around and motions for San to follow him.

(San notices the way his smile makes his cheekbones lift, a boyish look on his face. San doesn't mention how cute he thinks it makes him look.)

Opening the door to his room, Yeosang shuts it after San enters, who takes in the familiar surroundings.

San feels as though he should be embarrassed by how well he recognizes the room, but ignores it in favor of looking at the same posters he's seen a dozen times.

Pulling up a chair to sit in, Yeosang waits for San to sit down on his bed, a normal occurrence between them over the past weeks.

"So," begins Yeosang, bringing San out of his reverie, "am I getting my gift yet?" 

San slightly glares, walking up to him and handing over the gift.

"Why must you be so ungrateful all the time?" 

Smirking Yeosang ignores him in favor of opening his gift. 

San sits down and, for some reason, watches Yeosang's fingers weave through the wrapping.

(He gulps unnecessarily.)

The gift bag rustles as Yeosang pulls out his present.

He's momentarily confused as he looks at the tickets in his hand, San only looks at him as if to urge him to read them.

By doing so, Yeosang's face is one of realization.

They were coupons for his favorite chicken place a few blocks away.

Yeosang quickly thanks San (deeply moved by the fact that he knew his favorite food), and asks him a question.

"Now that that's out of the way, what are you really here for San?" Asks Yeosang, stunning San in the process of suddenly switching topics.

"Wh-What do you mean?" San mentally facepalms, cursing himself for sounding nervous.

"Well clearly you didn't wake up this early just to hand me my present." Yeosang explains, smile on his face as he realizes he guessed right by the way San looks away with slight embarrassment. 

Yeosang takes the time to place the tickets back in the bag and on the floor, to give San his full attention.

"W-Well, I guess I did kind of want to talk about something…" he trails off, nervousness crawling up his spine.

Yeosang only hums, waiting for him to continue.

"Let's just say there's this person...called...Shiber…?" San asks in a questioning tone, knowing it sounds weird by the way he's said it.

Yeosang slightly laughs, "You mean, you're stuffed pillow? The one we won at the carnival?" 

"Yes! That one!" San laughs along, any signs of feeling tense, eased by Yeosang's laughter.

"Anyway...let's say I'm dating Shiber…"

(Yeosang holds in his laughter when conjuring up an image of San dating his pillow, seeing as how serious he was.)

"And when we began dating, I only liked him…But...as time passed by...I'm starting to feel more than that for him..."

"Uh-huh."

"What do I do to tell him...er...Shiber, that I think I like him more than before…?"

"Like showing him that you might love him?" Yeosang asks, watching San turn bright red.

"Y-Yeah, I guess maybe a way to show this progression…?"

Yeosang looks at his wall in thought.

"As in physically? I mean you could easily tell this person verbally, but I guess you're not ready for that?" 

Yeosang sees San shake his head furiously.

"So then maybe in your own way? You're super affectionate, so why don't you just do that? You're showing the person you love them, and if they catch on, maybe they can say it first? If not, you're the one who can say it when you're ready, while conveying it in other ways." Yeosang finishes with a smile, watching San who's gone wide eyed.

This was exactly why San came to Yeosang. He was always thoughtful and gave good advice.

(A deeper part of his brain feels slightly disappointed. It was as though San expected Yeosang to react differently to telling him that he was in a relationship.

He didn't dwell on it.)

San nods, and asks a slightly different question.

"What if, rhetorically, I can't show him...Shiber, that I more than like him, because we were already affectionate. As in, instead of progressing, we've been digressing?"

"Well what caused the digression?" Yeosang immediately asks. "In this rhetorical relationship," Yeosang adds as an afterthought.

"That's the thing...I'm not sure." Without realizing it, San slips up.

Yeosang studies his shoes, thinking of answers to San's 'rhetorical' relationship.

"Maybe something happened? What if the other person realized something?" Yeosang replies.

"Y-Yeah maybe…" San thinks to himself, 'What if Wooyoung realized he doesn't want a relationship with me anymore?'

He feels tears spring to his eyes.

The chair creaks, and San is being engulfed by Yeosang.

(Unknowingly, it would be the first step to their comfortability.)

San pulls Yeosang to sit next to him, head resting on his shoulder, Yeosang's arm behind him.

San likes this. He likes them being in close proximity, especially since he didn't interact with anyone else except Wooyoung (who only touched him during sex). 

Feeling grateful for having someone to hold onto, San speaks up.

"Thank you Sangie, what would I do without you?"

Yeosang chuckles at that, agreeing.

San wipes the stray tears on his face, careful to avoid smearing the bright pink lipstick on his lips.

Yeosang begins to pull away, trying to make up for the depressing atmosphere, and reaches over to pick up his gift bag from the floor.

"How about we clear up the mood by celebrating my birthday with chicken?" 

As if on cue, Yeosang's stomach grumbles, and San bursts out laughing.

Wiping away his tears of laughter (instead of sorrow), San nods, "Yeah, how about that."

They stand up, and San reaches for Yeosang's hand, liking the fact he easily accepted.

Opening his door and stepping into the hall, they hear Yunho and Mingi's voices from the living room.

"Hey guys, San and I are gonna go eat, have fun with the decorations."

Yunho looks like he's about to protest (after all San had said he would help, which was better than both Mingi and Yeosang's efforts) but looking at San's slightly reddened eyes, he holds off.

"Yeah, yeah, go ahead, have your stupid chicken!" Yunho says teasingly, after living with Yeosang for so long, it was obvious that was where they'd go.

"Chicken? Yeosang bring me back some chicken!" Mingi calls from his place on the stool where he was hanging up decorations.

Nodding, Yeosang heads out, San right behind him by their interlocked hands.

Upon the door shutting, Yunho resumes taking out the decorations from the various bags on the living room floor.

Mingi steps down from his stool, and looks out the window, watching Yeosang and San walk hand in hand.

Giggling quietly to himself, Mingi tenses as he hears Yunho shout.

"I swear to God Mingi, if you don't help me right this moment, I'll make you sleep on the couch!"

At the threat, Mingi quickly gathers himself and continues his work with the decorations on the walls.

"Hey, you don't think San likes Yeosang do you?"

Humming in thought, Yunho replies, "Maybe? But I always thought San had a thing for Wooyoung?"

Nodding his head at the comment, Mingi proceeds with decorating.

He doesn't forget the glint in Yeosang's eyes when he told him to bring him back chicken.

He could only describe the expression on his face as lovestruck, when he looked at San.

...

**PART ELEVEN**

(1 month ago, San’s birthday)

-

Wooyoung has fucked up.

After arriving home and finding Jongho there (who decided he needed a break from singing), Wooyoung had distractedly mentioned meeting his boyfriend to give him a present, when Jongho inquired about his whereabouts.

His mind, not having caught up with the slip up, resulted in Jongho dragging him to sit, as he asked for more information.

"Since when did you go around dating?"

Ignoring his question, Wooyoung gets up and turns into his room, forgetting to close the door behind him.

"Wait a minute, isn't San's birthday today?" Jongho's eyes widen at his own speculation, leaning on the door frame to get answers.

"You're dating San!" His question comes off as a statement, making Wooyoung wince.

"No, I just happen to be dating someone who has the same birthday as him." Says Wooyoung, attempting to mask the nervousness in his voice.

"Oh really? But I thought…" Jongho slightly deflates, but suddenly...

"You're lying aren't you? It is San!" Jognho claps as though he'd just won the lottery (in his head, he probably did).

"Okay fine! Yes I'm dating San, but we're keeping it a secret from the group."

"Does this mean I'm the first one to know?" Jongho's eyes light up with excitement, he's glad he came home today.

Laughing at his childish reaction, Wooyoung nods, "Anyways, I'm heading to San's place to give him his present, but don't mention to anyone alright?" He says sternly, hoping Jongho doesn't let slip their secret.

"I promise, I'll keep my lips sealed." Jongho raises his hand as a pledge.

"Okay cool, well I'm heading out right now, wanna come with to avoid suspicion?"

"Oh, sure! I was gonna give him the souvenir I got for him."

Leaving to his own room, Jongho opens his suitcase and reaches for a slightly crumpled bag, smoothing it out as best as he can.

"All set! Let's go!" Jongho makes his way to the front door, reaching for the door handle, Wooyoung smiling at him from behind.

The entire walk to San's apartment was spent with Jongho mentioning his travels.

Wooyoung eagerly listened to his experiences, even asking Jongho about any romantic spots he encountered (wondering if a mini escaped overseas could make up how terrible of a boyfriend he had been to San). Jongho enthusiastically answers his questions.

It's at the foot of San's doorstep that Wooyoung hesitates in knocking, Jongho looks at him confusedly before hearing the voices filtering outside.

He listens carefully, obviously wanting to know why Wooyoung slightly deflates and why he's hesitating.

Jongho hears San's apartment buddy, San, and...Yeosang?

Looking back at Wooyoung, Jongho wonders…

Wooyoung takes a step back, handing over his gift to Jongho, motioning for him to go in, while he looks as though he's about to run off.

Just as Jongho is about to tell him to stop, the door is opened in front of his face.

Jongho is met face-to-face with San's apartment buddy.

Surprised to see the two, Hongjoong quickly shakes his head, and nods at both.

"Hey come in, we were just about to order food." Hongjoong points inside, to where San and Yeosang must be, sitting at the table together (Jongho presumes).

Jongho looks back at Wooyoung, who has a conflicted expression on his face.

(He wonders why Wooyoung seems hesitant to meet his boyfriend and best friend.)

Making up his mind, Wooyoung steps forward, and right as he steps foot in, his eyes widen, and suddenly he's turning around exclaiming his goodbye's to Hongjoong and Jongho, who look at him in confusion.

Waving him off, Hongjoong ushers Jongho in, closing the door after him.

As soon as he looks up from taking off his shoes, Jongho understands Wooyoung's abrupt departure.

Sitting on the couch (not the table he thought they were at), are San and Yeosang snuggled against each other, holding hands as Yeosang speaks lowly and San giggles.

They appear to be in their own world, seemingly not noticing the commotion at the door a few moments ago.

It's then that Jongho gets it.

(Maybe not totally, but he might have some inclination to Wooyoung's secrecy.)

Jongho exclaims his arrival, singing San happy birthday with the vocals he possesses, gifts in hand.

It ends up being a two hour stay, all of which Jongho doesn't fail to notice San and Yeosang's comfortability.

They seem to be the new pair attached at the hip.

As much as Jongho wants to be happy to celebrate San's birthday, he can't find it in himself to feel so.

He glances at Hongjoong, and notices his expression of happiness.

Seems as though Wooyoung really wasn't lying when he said Jongho was the first one to find out.

Forcing a smile on his face as Hongjoong whisks him to the kitchen to give the 'couple' some space, Jongho wants to shout at him.

He feels the urge to run into the living room and pull San and Yeosang apart.

He wants to scream in San's face and tell him he's with Wooyoung, but he can't, he must keep it a secret.

Jongho simply swallows the lump in his throat, politely smiling and nodding along to Hongjoong gushing about San and Yeosang's relationship.

Jongho could only take so much before reaching his breaking point.

(He wishes he never arrived at the apartment, wishes he wasn't a witness to how San and Yeosang hurt Wooyoung.)

And although he wasn't directly affected, it was hard for him not to sympathize with Wooyoung after recalling the way he asked about the romantic spots during his travels in that hopeful tone of his.

As well as the fact that Wooyoung had been the only constant in his continuously changing life, sympathizing with him was the least he could do.

Wooyoung had been the annoying friend who was always there for him, so he felt his next action made up for a fraction of what he'd helped him through.

"Wooyoung gave you that present, it wasn't me. Check up on him, when you find the time to." Jongho says monotonously from his spot at the door.

He gains satisfaction at seeing San's fallen face, the way he slowly pulls away from Yeosang who remains seated, with adorable confusion.

Jongho leaves at that moment, feeling his job is done, hoping Wooyoung isn't as heartbroken as he is (even though he knows full well Wooyoung must be worse off than him, he can only hope for the best of his friend's mentality).

+

"Don't tell me you're having boy troubles again." Says Seonghwa teasingly, who looks at the slumped Wooyoung in front of his doorstep.

"Alright get in, I don't know how much I'll be able to help you, since I still don't know who it is, but I can try." 

Pulling Wooyoung in by his arm, Seonghwa leads him to one of his kitchen chairs, while he goes to fill up a glass of water for Wooyoung.

Setting the glass in front of his face, and sitting across from him, Seonghwa waits for Wooyoung.

"Well...I-"

The doorbell rings to Seonghwa's house, his cheeks lighting up as he remembers he was supposed to have a guest over.

Quickly apologizing to Wooyoung, Seonghwa goes for the door, opening it to find Hongjoong at his doorstep.

Wooyoung watches as the pair interact, it was adorably awkward, momentarily disturbing him from his own troubles.

It was so obvious that Seonghwa and Hongjoong liked each other, but for some reason, after all these times he's visited Seonghwa, they never took the next step.

(In the back of his head, he was reminded of Yeosang's own struggles with pursuing San, and again, he was brought back to his own reality.)

After both Seonghwa and Hongjoong sat themselves at the table, they realized Wooyoung was silently staring at them.

"Don't tell me, you're having boy problems again?" Questions Hongjoong.

"Damn you guys really are meant for each other." Grumbles Wooyoung, ignoring the way both their faces flame bright red simultaneously.

"W-Whatever, what was it you wanted to talk about?" Asks Seonghwa looking away from Hongjoong and towards Wooyoung.

"Well you both guessed correctly to why I'm here so I'll just jump right into what I wanna say." Replies Wooyoung before he takes a deep breath and begins.

(After visiting Seonghwa the first time a while ago, he was used to Hongjoong listening in, he was always there and even provided his own tips.)

"Here's the thing...I'm in love!" Blurts Wooyoung, his cheeks dusted with a light pink.

"Wait what?" Seonghwa looks wildly between Hongjoong and Wooyoung, wondering if he heard correctly.

Upon seeing Hongjoong's nod, he guesses he was right.

"What the fuck is all this about?" Ponders Seonghwa, wondering when the hell Wooyoung actually caught feelings, after being used to seeing him sleep around.

"I said what I said," Wooyoung answers, avoiding looking at Seonghwa, "I'm most definitely in love."

Hongjoong recovers before Seonghwa, "When did you realize?"

"Well it was a combination of time and understanding? I guess I only figured out how I felt when I thought about the moments?"

"You know, maybe we can help if we actually knew who you were referring to?" Seonghwa says gently, hoping to help Wooyoung as much as he could.

Sparing a glance at both Seonghwa and Hongjoong, Wooyoung thinks that it's now or never, "It's someone close to all of us."

Nodding and figuring they should spare Wooyoung the embarrassment of saying exactly who he's referring to, Hongjoong asks, "Well if it's a close friend of ours, maybe you should tell them?"

"Yeah I agree with Hongjoong, you should go ahead and tell them, after all, you'd get it over with, and I'm sure they wouldn't hold it against you." Adds Seonghwa, soft eyes on Wooyoung.

Instead of nodding along or at least looking calmer, Wooyoung scratches his head out of frustration.

'Of course they couldn't help' thinks Wooyoung, caught between saying everything or continuing the secrecy.

Moving his hands to his sides, Wooyoung schools a calm expression on his face, before looking up at the pair and smiling.

"Thank you, it's what I needed." 

Hearing the obvious lack of emotion, Seonghwa lets him off, considering he did just spill a huge emotion to them.

"No problem, I hope you talk with whoever this person is, and be honest with them. I think they deserve to not be left in the dark when you feel so strongly for them." Finishes Hongjoong, watching as Wooyoung rises from the table.

"Yeah, I'll keep it in mind." Wooyoung politely smiles, putting his shoes on and opening the door to head out.

"I'll see you guys later, thanks for the advice!" Wooyoung says as he shuts the door, leaving Seonghwa and Hongjoong with their own guesses about who Wooyoung loved.

"You don't think it's…" begins Seonghwa.

"Yes I think so. I mean isn't it obvious? When I was at my apartment earlier, he didn't even enter because he saw Yeosang and San together." Hongjoong mentions.

"Yeah, I mean it adds up. Haven't they known each other for about 5 years now?" Asks Seonghwa.

"I guess it was only a matter of time before he told Yeosang, I mean imagine seeing your best friend and now the person you love, cuddle someone else?" Hongjoong relays his thought to Seonghwa.

Nodding along, Seonghwa adds, "Yeah, I figured he should, but honestly it looks like Yeosang has a thing for San?...I just hope none of them come out broken hearted."

Humming in agreement, Hongjoong grasps Seonghwa's hand, "Yeah, I sure hope they clear things out and be honest with each other…" he says as he looks into Seonghwa's eyes.

Catching his undertone, Seonghwa's eyes widen, "You don't mean…"

"Yep, I do, will you date me Seonghwa?"

+

Wooyoung was such an idiot.

He reasoned that telling San he was in love with him was too abrupt.

'Wouldn't it seem out of nowhere?'

It surely didn't help when he remembers San's closeness to Yeosang.

'Why must everything be so complicated?'

As if to mock him, a couple walks past him, hand in hand, matching expressions of love in their eyes.

Wooyoung looks away, feeling as though he's invading the couple's privacy.

He instead focuses on the day his heart fluttered more noticeably than usual.

(Sourly, he recalls it was before he started avoiding San.)

It was like any other day, he'd woken up early to make breakfast for San and himself, after he'd stayed the night.

Instead of moving throughout the usual quiet apartment, Wooyoung was met with a messy haired San, grinning at him brightly, as if waking up was such an accomplishment.

Looking at San and the natural beauty he possessed (even though his hair most closely resembled that of a bird's nest), he couldn't help the flutter in his heart.

After that day, Wooyoung took note of the little messages of reminders throughout his apartment.

Although nothing romantic or inspirational was ever written on them, he felt oddly happy at how domestic it was.

Wooyoung never actually told San about how endearing the sticky notes were, but maybe he figured it out after seeing a new stack of sticky notes on Wooyoung's desk, a bright smile on San's face.

Wooyoung even recalls San wearing a light pink lipstick after offhandedly mentioning it looked good on him, or the way he wore Wooyoung's clothes around the apartment. Even the way San cuddled under his arm when they watched a movie together, Wooyoung noticed all of it.

These tiny details Wooyoung paid attention to definitely had a part in falling in love with San even more than he thought.

Despite his feelings, he could never bring himself to act on them.

If he did, San would stay longer with him, which was the opposite of what he wanted.

In fact, him shutting down San's advances with excuses, were all to prevent his feelings from growing stronger.

However, it didn't stop Wooyoung from loving him.

It especially didn't help at all when San's absence pained him, and made him long for him even more.

Leaving Wooyoung in his current predicament, there was no way he could tell San…

It would only seem like a plea for his body back, which is something Wooyoung never only wanted him for, it was too bad that San was as clingy as him.

They always seemed to fall back into bed together, their touches always leading to more.

As much as he longs for San, he reminds himself that his happiness is most important.

After all, he would love to keep dating him, but after seeing how much happier he'd recently been with Yeosang, perhaps it was for the best that he detached himself even more.

Wooyoung couldn't bear to think of his best friend. Just imagining a possibility of telling Yeosang that he was dating his crush, only left him with Yeosang's heartbroken face. 

'It's for the best,' he reasons, 'I want the two most important people in my life to be happy, they deserve it.'

'Maybe the only way to stop this mess…

Is…

if I end it.'

He finishes his thought with a smile.

Hiding like a coward behind his expression, Wooyoung ignores the pain in his heart, in favor of arriving back home and eating.

(Jongho doesn't comment on the overly cheery smile on Wooyoung's face after he'd arrived back home.

Nor does he point out the flow of tears that drip on the table, as Wooyoung eats the food Jongho brought from San's place.)

…

**PART TWELVE**

(A few days ago, Mingi’s birthday party)

-

It’s August.

San looks at his phone, rechecking the message Wooyoung had sent him.

It was a question, asking if they could arrive together to Mingi's party.

San recalls the way he had scrambled to reach for his phone, knocking down the jewelry he planned to wear to Mingi’s birthday party.

(San also remembers being slightly disappointed that it was Wooyoung, the temporary sadness quickly being masked by joy as he realized Wooyoung had contacted him again.)

Now here he was, searching in his closet, hoping to dress and impress Wooyoung.

He debates going with a bit of make-up or not, choosing to wear the light pink lipstick he bought a while back.

Looking at himself in the mirror, San smiles, happy he’s presentable to see his boyfriend after failing to meet up.

He grabs his phone, realizing he spent about 2 hours getting ready in his search to look presentable, opting to wait in the living room.

He’s excited and yet nervous, ‘Why would Wooyoung contact me now?’, his thoughts forgotten as someone knocks on the apartment door.

Almost rushing to pull open the handle, San is met with Wooyoung, who seems to be carrying a couple of flowers and a birthday gift.

Confused, San watches as Wooyoung hands him the flowers, receiving them with wide eyes as Wooyoung asks if he can come in.

Stepping aside, flowers in tow, San composes himself and closes the door behind Wooyoung, seeing him sit in their living room.

San sits across from Wooyoung, not knowing what to say, he surely didn’t expect himself to be so silent.

“So...it’s been a while…”

For some reason, San feels guilty, perhaps it was because he also turned Wooyoung down in favor of hanging out with Yeosang.

“Y-Yeah, I guess it has…”

The atmosphere between them is tense, both wondering what should be said.

“I missed you.” says Wooyoung, audible only for San’s ears.

“Me too…”

San doesn't know if his reply is totally turthful.

“I was hoping to arrive at Mingi’s birthday party together. Now I’m not so sure...maybe you’d prefer to go with Yeosang?” questions Wooyoung, allowing San the option to reject him.

“N-No, I actually wanted to go with you. Yeosang can go a few hours without me.” finishes San with a slight laugh.

(He doesn't catch the way Wooyoung slightly tenses at his comment.)

“Oh, well in that case let’s head over there, I’m kind of hungry to be honest.” Wooyoung says with a sheepish smile, San can only look at him with soft eyes.

“Yeah! Let me just go get Mingi's present.” San stands up and heads to his room, leaving Wooyoung alone in the living room.

Wooyoung nervously bites at his lip, this went better than expected. He was thinking he’d find an angry-looking San (or worse him and Yeosang), but he was met with an unresponsive San?

His frozen state was better than his angry state...right?

Hearing San’s footsteps, Wooyoung looks at him with a smile, offering his hand to San (like he did in their earlier days of dating), and both made their way out.

+

The music vibrated against the walls.

Everything in the apartment seemed to tremble in rhythm with the music.

People crowded all parts of the apartment (save for Yeosang and Yungi’s rooms that were locked, each holding the keys to them).

Alcohol was piled up in the kitchen, loud chatter filtered from each and every corner.

A couple of cheers from the dining room, where some of the games were being played, and some claps when presumably one side won over another.

San and Wooyoung take in their surroundings from the threshold of the apartment, Yunho having been the one to let them in.

"So, I'm gonna go ahead and guess that those gifts are for Mingi?" Yunho asks teasingly, grabbing the gifts from their extended hands, "Make yourselves at home, and enjoy the party!" With that, Yunho disappears from the entrance, leaving Wooyoung and San there.

Immediately, Wooyoung speaks up, "Well, maybe we should sit down first, make ourselves comfortable."

Nodding at him, Wooyoung takes San by his hand over to the couches, momentarily stopping at seeing Yeosang on one of those couches.

'How could I forget that Yeosang lives here too?' Thinks Wooyoung, mentally face palming himself at his stupidity.

"Sangie!" Exclaims San, at hearing his name, Yeosang looks up from his phone and gives a light wave, a smile on his face.

With that Wooyoung smiles too, having missed seeing his best friend (even though it was difficult to decipher if he wanted to genuinely see him or not).

"Hey Woo, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while!" Yeosang says excitedly, also having missed seeing his best friend.

"Well you know, just a couple of things here and there." Wooyoung lies through his teeth, knowing San is standing right next to him, he'd have to continue with this lie anyway.

"Oh, well at least you've been busy! Sannie has continuously been bothering me! Honestly sometimes I wish you were here so you'd get him off my back." Chuckles Yeosang, catching sight of San sticking his tongue out at him.

Wooyoung gulps at that, forcing his smile, "Yeah, maybe I should…"

"Wooyoung how about we just sit down? The couch looks comfortable." San whined, his legs still hurting from their walk there.

"Yeah sure," they move to sit on the couch opposite of Yeosang, who puts his phone down to make conversation with Wooyoung.

San stays at Wooyoung's side throughout their talk, hand still being clutched by Wooyoung.

Feeling bored, San shifts in place, removing his hands from Wooyoung's in orderto wrap them around Wooyoung's neck.

After feeling satisfied of his hold on Wooyoung, San squishes his face between Wooyoung's neck and shoulder, smiling into it and closing his eyes.

Immediately, he feels Wooyoung pull away, almost in a hurry to pull San's arms away from him. He even nudges him with his shoulder to get his point across.

Pouting, San lightly glares at Wooyoung, looking down at his shoes, feeling bummed out.

'Did I do something wrong? Was it too much again?' San thinks to himself, not noticing Yeosang and Wooyoung who've stopped talking and are looking at him.

  
Next to him Wooyoung feels a bit guilty.

He wants to take his action back, and have San wrap his hands around him again.

But just thinking about the conversation he was having with Yeosang a few moments before, Wooyoung knew he couldn't do that.

After all, he noticed the side glances Yeosang made at San, when he'd latched onto Wooyoung earlier.

Wooyoung had also noticed the tiny glimmer of apprehension in Yeosang's eyes as he saw the way they cuddled.

During the entirety of Wooyoung recalling the quick events, San had apparently made up his mind to cuddle someone who actually let him.

That someone was Yeosang.

San stands up, and walks to the opposite couch, knowing Yeosang wouldn't deny him.

And he doesn't.

He watches as Yeosang opens his arms, and scoots a bit to let San fit in.

Although San doesn't put his face between his neck and shoulder (like he did with Wooyoung), he does wrap his arms around Yeosang.

Who's currently red-faced at having San cuddle him in the middle of a party with a bunch of strangers.

Yeosang tries his best to prevent his smile from widening, but he can't help it since San just chose him over Wooyoung as his cuddle partner.

Wooyoung on the other hand, tries his best to ignore the pang in his heart.

He'd been the one to ask San to go with him, and yet he'd ended up with Yeosang again.

He wanted so badly to explode at the two, but he couldn't bring himself to, he did push San away.

San looked so comfortable in Yeosang's arms, and Yeosang had the brightest smile on his face, he couldn't destroy that happiness.

Making up his mind, Wooyoung speaks up, "I think I'm gonna go ahead and find Mingi, that old man needs to be reminded of his age before he starts acting up again." He says with forced laughter, eyeing the cuddling pair in front of him who give him their full attention.

"But Wooyoung, isn't Mingi older than you by a couple of months?" Asks San with an adorable thinking face.

"Yeah, last time I checked Woo, you're turning the same age as him." Replies Yeosang who still has his arm around San (notes Wooyoung with disdain).

"Whatever it doesn't matter, I'm gonna go bully him anyways, he deserves it!" And maybe Wooyoung was expecting San to go with him (even though it was a bit of a stretch), instead being met with slight disappointment as Yeosang and San started conversing with each other.

Walking past, Wooyoung catches the thumbs up behind San's head, following it to see Yeosang's flickering gaze.

He sees the way Yeosang makes sure to look at San as he's talking, but catches Wooyoung's eye, watching what his reaction to cuddling San would be.

Wooyoung not letting down his best friend, gives 2 thumbs-up, a smile on his face.

Yeosang's eyes widen, nodding immediately and turning his attention back to San.

Wooyoung notices the brighter smile on Yeosang's face, barely realizing that he just gave confirmation to Yeosang to 'go for it' with San.

Wooyoung had known Yeosang long enough to understand that the thumbs-up to him suggested more than PG activities.

He's hit with a wave of nostalgia, recalling the way Yeosang would interact with someone right in front of Wooyoung, to see if his best friend approved of them.

Sometimes Yeosang would give him a questioning look, asking if he should continue his pursuit.

Typically, Wooyoung gave him a thumbs-up, knowing his best friend needed some...experience.

Which is why Wooyoung is slightly baffled by his own actions for giving the 'go ahead' to Yeosang.

He'd only ever given a thumbs-up, maybe that was why Yeosang looked surprised.

Wooyoung had given him 2 thumbs-up, for the first time ever, totally showing his support for the two.

Continuing his way to find Mingi, Wooyoung doesn't let show his nervousness (wondering how far Yeosang would go with San).

He sees Mingi who stares at him with a confused face, eyebrows drawn together, with a funny smile.

Mingi doesn't mention Wooyoung's slightly hunched figure, nor does he comment on his expression.

Instead he brings Wooyoung in by the arm and hugs him lightly (which Wooyoung gratefully accepts), pulling away just as quickly to lead him to the drinks.

With Mingi's arm around his shoulders, Wooyoung feels comforted, his mind forgetting about the cuddling pair, as he enjoys the party with the birthday boy.

However, San doesn't forget about Wooyoung.

Yeosang notices his far-away look, poking him on the arm, wondering what he has in mind.

San shakes his head a bit, and smiles, continuing the conversation with Yeosang.

In the back of his head, he wonders why he ever let himself hope that Wooyoung would stay by his side as they used to.

He shouldn't have let himself be so easily swayed, when Wooyoung had only texted him to ARRIVE together, not fall back into their old ways.

Huffing in exasperation for his own gullibleness, San continues talking with Yeosang, slowly forgetting about Wooyoung.

+

San and Yeosang are still sober, despite being in the kitchen surrounded by all the alcoholic drinks.

Yunho had informed San that Wooyoung had left early, saying something about his head hurting due to all the drinks he'd had.

Nodding it off, San asks about what Yunho had gotten for Mingi's birthday.

At being asked, Yunho's ears turn red. He scratches his head, unsure if he should say.

San raises his eyebrow, a smirk on his face, "Don't tell me you got him something cheesy like matching necklaces." 

Yeosang laughs lightly next to him, while Yunho shakes his head, his cheeks turning bright red.

"No! But I did get matching bracelets..." Yunho shows them his wrist, embarrassed he had been found out so quickly.

San and Yeosang holler with laughter, Yunho can only turn red as he listens to the multiple "cute" or "you guys are so adorable!".

Hearing the commotion, Mingi perks up and walks to his boyfriend, wrapping his arm around his waist, as Yunho hides his embarrassment in his shoulder.

Mingi feels the heat of Yunho's face on his shirt, opting to pat his head as he laughs at his adorableness.

San looks at them with a smile on his face, they were a couple he wanted to be like.

It brings him to think about Wooyoung, 'Would they ever have a moment like this?'

His thoughts turn bitter, realizing he's jealous of the relationship Yungi have.

'Just look at them, you'll never have that, Wooyoung would never want you like that.'

At the tap on his shoulder, San is interrupted from his thoughts.

Yeosang, having caught the apparent sadness mixed with slight jealousy on San's face, reminds him the pair is still in front of them.

Looking at him gratefully for stopping his unnecessary emotions towards the pair, San asks Mingi when he's planning to open up his gifts.

With that, Mingi answers excitedly, while Yeosang zones out of the conversation.

He did after all, look at the scene of Yungi together, wishing it were him and San.

He thought of holding San in his arms, comforting him in public.

Yeosang couldn't let himself wish for it though, not until he was sure San liked him.

+

All the fret over San not liking him amounted to nothing, because Yeosang received his answer soon after.

One moment he's opening the door to his room, with San behind him, and the next he's being pushed inside, back against the now closed door.

San has a hand on his chest, looking at him with a dangerous glint in his eye.

Yeosang can only gulp down his nervousness, as San leans closer to him.

It's at the touch of their lips, that Yeosang wants to blame the alcohol for clouding their judgement.

He can't however, as he remembers both didn't drink, completely sober.

He realizes San kissing him isn't a mistake, spurring him to kiss back.

With a trail of his hand, San begins to unbutton Yeosang's shirt, their kisses growing heated.

Yeosang repeats to himself that he isn't dreaming, San likes him back, that's why San was the one to make the first move.

Yeosang moves forward, hands on San's waist, stepping towards his bed, guiding San along.

Yeosang likes this, San against his body, kissing his neck as he pulls his shirt off of him.

It was something Yeosang never thought San would do to him.

With a light push, San's back is against the mattress, looking up at Yeosang who hovers over him, his gentle hands prying open his shirt.

'It feels new,' thinks San, his chest rising up and down in anticipation.

Yeosang's hands graze his chest, lightly trailing them to his pants.

San watches Yeosang's face, he sees the way he smiles at him when their eyes meet, his gaze a mixture of hazy lust and love.

San feels himself blush, never having been looked at like that by any of his partners.

He finds himself liking the slow pace, being able to feel every touch and kiss Yeosang leaves on his body.

Even though he's left breathless at the delicacy he's treated with, he enjoys the wait, especially since it was Yeosang.

The sweet Yeosang who listened to his troubles, the one who comforted him, the one who didn't push him away when he craved affection.

The same Yeosang who was thrusting into him, whispering sweet words and praises into San's ears, as his tears flow from the gentleness of it all.

It felt overwhelming with how meaningful it all was, but San liked the change.

It's after San and Yeosang finish, Yeosang threading his long fingers in San's hair, whispering kind words into his hair, that San realizes why it all felt so different.

It wasn't that they did anything new, it was just that there was an added factor.

San's heart pounds against his ribcage, he's too scared to finish his thoughts. 

He tries to focus on watching Yeosang remove his hand from his hair, using it to reach for his blanket to cover both of them.

It's all a futile attempt as San's thoughts still linger in his head.

The only thing his brain supplies for him as Yeosang pulls him closer to his chest and under his chin, is that four lettered word.

San closes his eyes, snuggling into Yeosang's body, the word in bright, bold, red letters.

He ignores it, in favor of enjoying Yeosang's comfort.

San dreams of a green hill.

He's on top of it, looking down at the foot of the hill, where Yeosang stands.

At seeing him, San runs down the hill, rushing into Yeosang's open arms.

…

**PART THIRTEEN**

(A couple of days ago, day after Mingi’s birthday party)

-

Yeosang wakes up to an empty bed, checking his phone to see that San had left in a hurry for work.

He can only grin as he reads the text message.

Out of nowhere, he's reminded of the night before, San's breathy moans, and quivering body.

He shakes his head, to rid himself of those thoughts, which only makes him remember San's face of pain and pleasure.

Again, he shakes his head to get rid of those thoughts, focusing on the way San gripped his hand, and the way he didn't let him stray too far from him.

Yeosang feels his heart clench, emotional about the little details he's noticing, especially since San returned his feelings.

Wiping away any tears that might've left his eyes from sheer happiness, he texts Wooyoung.

The message was a gist of the previous night, and how he planned to ask San to date him the next time he sees him.

He leaves his phone on his bed to get ready for the day, and is only messaged back when he's finished changing.

He checks and sees Wooyoung's reply.

'Ok, good luck.'

Yeosang feels some kind of guilt.

Recalling the way Wooyoung looked slightly upset, and instead of asking about it, he'd cuddled with San.

He couldn't help but feel even worse when he remembers Wooyoung had left early.

His guilt consumes him as he realizes how selfish he's being by pushing his happiness in Wooyoung's face, when he was obviously bothered by something yesterday.

He supposes he should meet up with Wooyoung and ask about it, but not until later since he still has work to get to.

+

Wooyoung feels as though he might throw up.

He was staring at Yeosang's text, rereading the digital words, until they seemed to be burned into his mind.

Yeosang had finally done it.

He'd finally gotten San to notice him.

'Who was he kidding?'

They literally had sex, it was the biggest confirmation that San didn't like him anymore.

He didn't blame him.

Wooyoung had purposely avoided San, and he couldn't even act surprised that he'd grown closer to Yeosang.

It seemed like there was only one thing to do.

He had to break things off with San, he only had eyes for Yeosang now.

Wooyoung wants to feel betrayed, wants to be hurt by Yeosang's merciless pursuit.

He can't.

Yeosang didn't even know he and San had been together, only Jongho.

He grows frustrated with himself, knowing Yeosang would've immediately put a stop to everything if he HAD known San was dating him.

He feels pathetic.

Useless.

He let it happen in front of his eyes, and he didn't do anything about it.

He couldn't even blame San.

If he had been around with him more, he would've never started hanging out with Yeosang.

San probably wouldn't even have noticed him, much less caught feelings for him.

But Wooyoung did leave him alone, he put a stop to almost everything that founded their relationship.

With great regret, Wooyoung blames himself.

'It's all my fault, I shouldn't have slept with San.'

'I knew Yeosang liked him when I slept with him.'

'I even continued the relationship because I wanted to feel what it was like to be in love.'

Wooyoung wails out as he realizes his own selfishness.

Trembling, his tears blur his vision.

There was nothing left for him and San.

It was Yeosang and San now.

As much as he forces the smile on his face when Jongho opens his door, it's immediately torn down when Jongho envelops him in his arms.

He lets himself cry, he lets himself wail, he lets himself wallow in shame and guilt.

Jongho just pats his arm, humming a soft tune to help him calm down.

It was easy for Jongho to figure out what had happened.

Wooyoung had lost San to Yeosang.

It wasn't a possibility anymore, it was a fact.

Wooyoung's phone rings, both look over and see the name.

'Sannie'

Wooyoung erupts in laughter, despite both knowing nothing was funny about it.

Jongho watches the phone ring, Wooyoung continues laughing, San stops calling.

A notification follows soon after, Wooyoung reads it and grabs his phone, throwing it against his wall.

He turns back to Jongho, crying into his shirt.

Jongho can only comfort Wooyoung until he falls asleep.

He lifts his legs so that Wooyoung is laying on his bed properly.

He tugs the covers over Wooyoung's small form, letting him rest.

As he reaches for the phone, he winces at how broken it is.

Reading San's message, Jongho feels anger bubbling in him.

The audacity of San to act as though nothing happened.

He fumes quietly, returning the broken phone to Wooyoung's bedside table.

He closes the door to Wooyoung's room and makes his way to the kitchen.

He repeats the words he'd read on the shattered screen, saying them quietly to himself.

'Hey, Wooyoungie, I'm hungry, let's go grab a bite! My treat, it's a date!'

+

San is panicking.

Wooyoung hasn't responded to him yet.

'Did he…?' San wonders as he recalls the previous night.

His eyes widen, hands covering his mouth to prevent Hongjoong and Seonghwa from hearing his shrieking.

'Why did I think he wasn't going to find out?' 

San feels disgusted with himself.

He feels so utterly disappointed and angry at himself.

'I'm dating Wooyoung for fucks sake!'

He was dating Wooyoung and he'd just cheated on him.

San slumps down onto his floor, not caring if Seonghwa and Hongjoong heard him.

'I just fuckin cheated on my boyfriend, and I'm acting as though that wasn't a big deal!'

'How fuckin shameless do I have to be to send him a text to go on a date?' San screams in his head.

'How fuckin disgusting do I have to be to cheat on Wooyoung with his best fuckin friend?'

San momentarily calms at thinking about Yeosang.

But then he's yanking his hairs at having done so, regretting letting himself fall for the two.

'Why couldn't I have just been patient? Why the fuck did I have to go up to Yeosang and fall in love with him!?' San clamps his hands over his mouth.

Even though he didn't say it aloud, the fact that he even thinks it angers San.

'Who am I to think I can love Yeosang, when I couldn't even do it with Wooyoung.'

He lets his anguish overtake him, as he realizes he never fell in love with Wooyoung.

'What a fuckin joke I am, being in a relationship while I fall in love with someone else!'

San doesn't quiet his thrashing.

Seonghwa and Hongjoong knock on his door, he doesn't hear it, too busy in his head about being with Wooyoung and loving Yeosang.

He feels himself being wrapped up in Seonghwa's arms, patted on the back by Hongjoong, but San knows he's the last person that needs comfort.

He wants to so badly push them both away, let him wallow in shame, but he doesn't.

He let's Hongjoong and Seonghwa comfort him with words of 'we knew it was gonna happen', 'I should've warned you sooner', and 'we're sorry we didn't tell you Wooyoung likes Yeosang.'

San wants to correct them, he so badly wants to tell them that Wooyoung only sees him as a best friend.

Wants to tell them that it's him who loves Yeosang, but he can't, he wants to be selfish and keep an image of himself as the one who was heartbroken in their head.

He doesn't want them to leave him just yet.

…

**PART FOURTEEN**

-

Today was finally the day. 

Today was the day Wooyoung was going to tell him. It actually felt long overdue, but he couldn't help pushing it back each time he dwelled on it.

Watching as his text is sent to San, he holds his breath waiting for his reply.

A mere 'sure' is all he's met with. 

All he needs to do now is compose himself, and be prepared for any unforeseen reactions.

+

San feels the nervousness crawl up his spine. 

He wrings his hands together, chewing on his bottom lip, avoiding eye contact with Wooyoung.

+

After reading the text Wooyoung had sent him earlier, San felt a pit in his stomach, wondering if both had the same thought in mind for meeting.

Luckily, Wooyoung had beaten him to the punch, feeling temporary relief at knowing he wasn't the only one feeling this way.

He thinks about his own reasons for wanting to meet Wooyoung.

‘Obviously it was the distance, the way he avoided me, the way he lied to me.’

And as much as San wanted to blame him, he knew he was at fault as well, if not more so, for letting it get this far.

His nervousness made him wish he was a mind reader. 

It was nerve wracking waiting for Wooyoung to speak, San wouldn't be so doubtful if it wasn't for the silence. 

A huff of breath reigns San away from his thoughts, focusing back on Wooyoung.

Looking into his eyes and seeing the determination in them, San waits as Wooyoung opens his mouth.

It's then that he begins to speak.

+

San's dimpled smile lit up his dull eyes. 

He was content with Wooyoung's words, and yet guilty for them. 

He'd expected those same words to spill from his lips, but even so, San felt saddened by them.

He chose to focus on the positive.

He let his feelings of relief and joy grow from the depths of his mind.

He's glad Wooyoung had finally said it.

Happy that the words were of his own volition.

It only seemed like a matter of time before one of them did.

Although only a few days had passed since then, it felt like forever to San.

As much as he reminds himself of his own guilt eating away at him, San ignores it in favor of remembering the hiding and secrecy throughout the past year.

San feels glad, he's away from it.

He can start anew.

The elation of realizing this has him almost jumping in place.

He's finally free!

+

San watches Wooyoung through his glossy eyes.

He sees how silent he’s become after saying those words, after San had his revelation.

Running his eyes over Wooyoung's frame, San notes his eyes are tightly shut, his head is tilted towards the ground, his fists are clenched at his sides.

He feels a sudden urge to express his gratitude at being let go, causing him to step forward until he’s engulfing Wooyoung in a hug.

San whispers his thankfulness and countless apologies.

"Thank you." He says.

"Sorry." He continues.

His endless cycle of feelings has San's mind reeling.

He still can't believe Wooyoung said it.

It took a year of unanswered questions and mixed feelings, all waiting for the response that came in the form of Wooyoung's words. 

The words that should've left him guilty, but cause him to relish in the relief instead.

San doesn't have to fake it with him anymore. He's free to show him his true feelings now.

The regret hits him in waves the longer he holds Wooyoung. His presence alone makes San hate the way everything ended. The fact that it was his fault for not being a better person.

As much as he wants to surf the waves of the hurt, the loss, and the pain that came with Wooyoung, he knows that it isn't at all what his mind is thinking.

In fact, San realizes just how badly he's reacting to the situation.

He's noticing the terrible person he is, as he chooses to focus on the way he doesn't have to hide his longing, his want for truth, his chance at love.

Pulling away from him, San pecks Wooyoung's cheek.

Thanking him for opening the little door of his cage.

For letting his wings fly him to freedom. 

He watches Wooyoung's face turn into that of a smile, letting him grasp his hands as they share the final moment.

Staring into his eyes, San can see a hint of tears.

He matches Wooyoung's smile with one of his own, both downturned and sad.

Even though he wants to hide the hope in his eyes, he knows Wooyoung sees them brightly lit, while his own shine with pain.

With the complexity that is San's feelings, emotions, and thoughts, he's glad to have a clear solution for them, all courteously of Wooyoung's abrupt text.

+

They let the winds of autumn sweep the leaves.

Their hair and clothes being blown to the side by the wind.

San and Wooyoung don’t say anything to each other.

They only hold hands and continue to watch each other’s eyes, catching sight of the different emotions expressed in them.

As much as Wooyoung wants to look away, he can’t.

Too enraptured by San’s sparkling eyes.

It comes to no one’s surprise that both begin to think about their relationship, from start to finish.

It’s Wooyoung who recalls what he’d done after they’d gotten together.

+

Reeling himself away from his memory and focusing back on San, he guesses San also thinks back to that day.

The day the secrecy began.

And thinking back to it, perhaps the day everything had started to fall apart.

San knew it was over since that day.

+

And yet, San didn't mind that it caused their downfall.

He realizes that even if he had been patient, it wouldn't have changed anything.

Instead, he chooses to cherish the times they'd been happy.

His mind reeling him back to Wooyoung's pleasant surprise.

+

At the fond memory, San's thoughts are quickly clouded by the confusion.

The questions he had when Wooyoung didn't seem to grow closer to him, instead distancing himself even more.

How he felt at a loss when wondering what would happen if it continued that way.

+

And it had, San remembers, the distance lasted for the rest of their relationship, until it's very end.

Which was why he was swayed so easily by _him_.

After longing for that affection, _he_ 'd been there. 

He easily got closer to _him_ , which was why he was so confused about his feelings for _him_.

On that day, when it was _his_ birthday.

+

Wooyoung watches San whose eyes shine as though to reminisce the events in their past.

He doesn’t blame him.

In fact, he finds himself reminiscing in his own promise to himself.

The promise he foolishly followed.

The decision he made that caused the distance between him and San.

+

He regrets knowing he thought it up, it was his idea in the first place.

An idea he so deeply regrets that he’s willing to take back his words and tell San the truth.

He doesn’t.

Instead, Wooyoung savors the last few moments of physical interaction he has with San.

Their end was nearing and nothing was going to stop it.

It was long overdue.

+

Without either San or Wooyoung noticing, a lone figure watches them from afar, hidden behind the multiple trees and countless passerbys.

Yeosang doesn’t know how to feel.

He had seen San hug Wooyoung and kiss him on the cheek earlier.

His fists are clenching the grocery bag in his hand.

He saw the way they were looking at each other, the way they were holding onto each other.

He should’ve seen it coming, after all, it was he who decided to make San smile that dimpled smile he loved so much, despite knowing San had feelings for Wooyoung.

+

He wants to laugh out loud at his stupidity.

He had known that even if he could brighten San’s days, he’d still fall back to Wooyoung.

Even after all his efforts, Yeosang doesn’t know whether to feel pleased he made a difference, or to feel regret that he approached him.

+

Some distance away, Wooyoung tightens his hold on San’s fingers, keeping his tears at bay.

Those shining eyes of San remind him of the day he had to swallow the pill of reality.

The way those eyes weren’t directed at him, but at Yeosang.

He just didn’t know it’d hurt so much seeing them hold someone else in their view.

+

Wooyoung almost bursts out laughing in San’s face.

He recalls the way he had run to Seonghwa’s house, only to leave with good advice, of which he would never follow.

+

The aftermath of his trip, all useless since he indeed, didn’t heed his advice.

It was his final say in the matter with dating San.

+

All three think about the events that happened a few days ago.

The events that led to the previously together couple, to break it all off.

The events that confirmed San’s feelings for Yeosang.

+

Wooyoung and San both notice the figure hidden by the trees, walk away from them.

San looks at the retreating back with hope.

Wooyoung looks at San with pain.

Yeosang only continues walking, not turning back.

All three have varying expressions.

One looks ahead with a serene face.

Another looks happy.

The last holds sadness, hurt that everything had to end this way.

+

‘Maybe one day…’

Wooyoung thinks, ‘the truth will unfold, and San will know.”

He lets go of San’s hand, muttering a low farewell, as he walks opposite of him, heading to his apartment.

‘Perhaps I’ll tell him I love him…’

His feet crunch the fallen leaves.

‘Or…

I can just keep it to myself…’

Wooyoung finishes, walking faster as though to outrun his thoughts.

He leaves San behind, who still gazes at Yeosang’s retreating figure, despite him leaving their sight not too long ago.

‘Yeah, maybe it is better if I keep it to myself.’

+

_Yeosang arrives home, the apartment empty with Yunho and Mingi out._

_He’s all alone in his room, crying at having San use him for his body._

No one comes to comfort him.

_He’s left alone to console himself._

_He can’t help but want San or even Wooyoung to be there and hold him._

_His tears pool on his pillow, the fact of being alone sinking into him._

This was his reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna quickly talk about why I decided to write this fic. I think everyone in the Ateez fandom knows about the Woosan ship (I mean even I included it), however, despite its popularity, I'm more of a Sansang shipper. Maybe it's because San is my bias and Yeosang is my bias wrecker, that I wrote a "better" outcome to their relationship than Woosan's ending. Either way, I tried using some elements of that one Christmas vid about Wooyoung calling Yeosang out for their distance (I think?), and well I created my own fictional version of it. 
> 
> So there's me pointing out my preferences of the characters in my fic (lol), and possibly why SanSang has arguably better scenes than Woosan.
> 
> Anyways, thx to anyone who even read this, I enjoyed writing this fic (since it was my 2nd one, after the crappy Yugbam one XD), hope yall have a nice day!


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